Question:

I take lots of inhalers and have just tried Singulair. How long does it take to start working?

When I was in the worst of the year-long attack I had, I felt the effects of Singulair immediately. Now I wonder whether it’s working at all, but it must be because I get worse if I miss taking it.

Response:

I take lots of inhalers and have just tried Singulair. How long does it take to start working? It doesn’t seem to do anything. It is always hard for me to tell what works since I run into triggers off and on. With that and delayed reactions, it is hard to play detective and tell what is due to what. Thanks for the help.

I found it worked within the first few days.  But it appears to be effect for only 2/3 of the people taking it.  You may be in the 1/3. Check with your allergist.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I started it on Tuesday of this week and my experience is it worked almost immediately. My wife said I slept so well…no coughing and no snoring either ( I have sleep apnea….not using my Bi-PAP now because of the 4-5 weeks I’ve had lung problems). She said I hardly moved all night long. YMMV….this is just my experience   Wow! Me too! I had been using my Proventil inhaler regularly along with Serevent. The Dr. put me back on Flovent and added Singulair. I haven’t needed the Proventil even once since then. Since I believe the Flovent takes some time to start working I’m convinced that the Singulair did the job. I’m not 100% better yet – my lungs still hurt when I take a deep breath. But I’m very much improved! Debi

Singulair is practically my god…within 24 hours I felt a *huge* effect. I now use proventil as a rescue inhaler maybe once a week, as opposed to the once/twice/even three times a day I used to have to use it. —  Karen Ingraffea  "I might be a coward; I’m afraid of what I might find out…" -(The Mighty Mighty Bosstones) The Impression That I Get "All things being equal, you lose." -Anon

Response:

I started it on Tuesday of this week and my experience is it worked almost immediately. My wife said I slept so well…no coughing and no snoring either ( I have sleep apnea….not using my Bi-PAP now because of the 4-5 weeks I’ve had lung problems). She said I hardly moved all night long. YMMV….this is just my experience

  Wow! Me too! I had been using my Proventil inhaler regularly along with Serevent. The Dr. put me back on Flovent and added Singulair. I haven’t needed the Proventil even once since then. Since I believe the Flovent takes some time to start working I’m convinced that the Singulair did the job. I’m not 100% better yet – my lungs still hurt when I take a deep breath. But I’m very much improved! Debi

Response:

Your insert should supply this information. If not your pharmacist will tell you.

Response:

I take lots of inhalers and have just tried Singulair. How long does it take to start working? It doesn’t seem to do anything. It is always hard for me to tell what works since I run into triggers off and on. With that and delayed reactions, it is hard to play detective and tell what is due to what. Thanks for the help.

Generally, about 30 days is considered an adequate time to tell if it is or is not working. It’s a terrible responsibility – but somebody has to be the Americans.

Response:

I started it on Tuesday of this week and my experience is it worked almost immediately. My wife said I slept so well…no coughing and no snoring either ( I have sleep apnea….not using my Bi-PAP now because of the 4-5 weeks I’ve had lung problems). She said I hardly moved all night long. YMMV….this is just my experience * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

I take lots of inhalers and have just tried Singulair. How long does it take to start working? It doesn’t seem to do anything. It is always hard for me to tell what works since I run into triggers off and on. With that and delayed reactions, it is hard to play detective and tell what is due to what. Thanks for the help. Before you buy.

Response:

Question:

I have suffered with severe sinus infections for the last ten years. When I wake with a headache, I dread getting out of bed.  You are at tmes totally incapacitated with these.  Nothing ever helped.  Even antibiotics did not do the job at this point.  I read an article in a magazine about the benefits of drinking a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in an 8 oz. glass of water each day.  I did more research on this and found that it is supposed to be very beneficial.  Knock on wood, since I started this regimen about 6 weeks ago, I have not had a serious sinus headache.  If I wake with the sinus stuffiness and drainage, the apple cider vinegar and water quickly relieve the condition.  Good luck to all who have this problem.  

Response:

How odd… i heard two tablespoons of warm apple cider vinegar was good for the arthristis…  wonder what else it is good for except maybe salad dressing?! -pam – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have suffered with severe sinus infections for the last ten years. When I wake with a headache, I dread getting out of bed.  You are at tmes totally incapacitated with these.  Nothing ever helped.  Even antibiotics did not do the job at this point.  I read an article in a magazine about the benefits of drinking a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in an 8 oz. glass of water each day.  I did more research on this and found that it is supposed to be very beneficial.  Knock on wood, since I started this regimen about 6 weeks ago, I have not had a serious sinus headache.  If I wake with the sinus stuffiness and drainage, the apple cider vinegar and water quickly relieve the condition.  Good luck to all who have this problem.  

Response:

Hi Pam and everyone else: Finally got the strength to go back to a doctor only a kinder one this time and she gave me a five day treatment of Zithromax. It, along with a good OTC saline solution and Nasalcrom is working wonders for me, but I might get some more antibiotics because five days may not be enough to completely cure it. Also thinking of going to allergist to solve the flare ups once and for all,:) Happy Holidays to all:) Coral. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a week ago, I started noticing: I had a pain going across my forehead and between my eyes, felt like my face was hurting me, My nose was stuffier than usual, (I always have a stuffy nose) Coughing up thick brown phlem. Post nasal drip Feeling constantly dizzy all day long, has lasted about 3 days now. Constantly running to the bathroom to spit up phlem. Ears and hearing are annoying me. I went to a doctor a few days ago, and had Is this a Sinus Infection? This is what I had starting Dec1st.  Coughing earaches sore throat and sore chest.  Primary doctor put me on 6 days of antibiotics for 6 days.  A week later came back and went to allergist and he gave me a shot of cortisone and another double round of antibiotics and I am fine.  This is your difference where the primary doctor does not have time for all the patients.  A specialist will go a step further and cover all the bases.  I did have blaring of vision and dizziness.  See an allergist.  You woun’t be sorry. chest X ray Spirometry test EKG blood test. all were good and the doctor delcared me healthy, BUT he didnt check my nose for imflammation or give me a sinus Xray, my question is, could I have a sinus infection, is feeling dizzy a possible symptom with Sinus infectioned. — Re:  Serevent and Flovent.  My biggest problem is not being permitted to Before you buy.

Response:

Finally got the strength to go back to a doctor only a kinder one this time and she gave me a five day treatment of Zithromax but I might get some more antibiotics because five days may not be enough to completely cure it.

Zythromax is different than most antibioyics and 5 days is like taking 10 days of them.  If I understand correctly, it keeps working for days after you stop it.

Response:

I thank you very large. reble

me too Ellis…this has really helped over the last couple of days…thanks eric "the alternative to seeing things in black and white is to see them in full colour"

Response:

Hi Pam and everyone else: Finally got the strength to go back to a doctor only a kinder one this time and she gave me a five day treatment of Zithromax. It, along with a good OTC saline solution and Nasalcrom is working wonders for me, but I might get some more antibiotics because five days may not be enough to completely cure it. Also thinking of going to allergist to solve the flare ups once and

for Sinus Infections in the winter are caused from being in the house where the air is too dry.  We are going to kick up our humidifier on the furnace and hope that will help.  Also using ocean spray in the nostrils should help.  I am finnally at the point that I am not coughing after three weeks and the visit to the allergist.  I still have a lot of days to finish on the antibiotics but I am finally starting to feel good.  However, I do find that the 24 hr Clairitn-d keeps me from sleeping so I am going to take the 12 hr.  Hope everyone else gets better.  I think I will also use the nasal chrome.  And hopefully all my problems will disappear for good. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – all,:) Happy Holidays to all:) Coral. About a week ago, I started noticing: I had a pain going across my forehead and between my eyes, felt like my face was hurting me, My nose was stuffier than usual, (I always have a stuffy nose) Coughing up thick brown phlem. Post nasal drip Feeling constantly dizzy all day long, has lasted about 3 days now. Constantly running to the bathroom to spit up phlem. Ears and hearing are annoying me. I went to a doctor a few days ago, and had Is this a Sinus Infection? This is what I had starting Dec1st.  Coughing earaches sore throat and sore chest.  Primary doctor put me on 6 days of antibiotics for 6 days.  A week later came back and went to allergist and he gave me a shot of cortisone and another double round of antibiotics and I am fine.  This is your difference where the primary doctor does not have time for all the patients.  A specialist will go a step further and cover all the bases.  I did have blaring of vision and dizziness.  See an allergist.  You woun’t be sorry. chest X ray Spirometry test EKG blood test. all were good and the doctor delcared me healthy, BUT he didnt check my nose for imflammation or give me a sinus Xray, my question is, could I have a sinus infection, is feeling dizzy a possible symptom with Sinus infectioned. — Re:  Serevent and Flovent.  My biggest problem is not being permitted to Before you buy.

– Re:  Serevent and Flovent.  My biggest problem is not being permitted to Before you buy.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a week ago, I started noticing: I had a pain going across my forehead and between my eyes,  felt like my face was hurting me, My nose was stuffier than usual, (I always have a stuffy nose) Coughing up thick brown phlem. Post nasal drip Feeling constantly dizzy all day long, has lasted about 3 days now. Constantly running to the bathroom to spit up phlem. Ears and hearing are annoying me. —cut—-  The first thing to try for rhinitis is Nasalcrom (cromolyn) nasal spray, now OTC. It has virtually no side effects. I also recommend saline washes; the simple way is mix some warm salt water, inhale from palm of hand. Ellis — How much saline solution are you talking about? Is this essentially the same a using a saline nasal spary such as "Ocean" available OTC? reble OTC saline solution could be used, but it’s expensive. You could take a half a cup of warm water, sprinkle in some salt; pour into palm of one hand and inhale with one nostril, tip head back so it starts to run down throat, cough and spit out. Repeat on the other side, as is necessary to clear the mucus. If there is not enough or too much salt, there will be a burning sensation. Here’s a link with a recipe: http://www.aos-jax.com/nasal.htm Excerpt: "What is nasal irrigation? This is a procedure in which the nasal cavity is washed with a soothing solution. It can be done by using a bulb syringe or an electric dental device (such as Water Pik). Why would I need to do nasal irrigation? People with upper airway problems may have dry nasal membranes. Also, the mucous secretion is thick and the hairs are not able to move the mucus out. In some people, the mucus dries and forms crusts that interfere with sinus drainage. Crusting and poor drainage also causes headaches, infection, and bad odors. By using nose drops and nasal irrigation, this problem can be relieved and comfort restored. Irrigation with a Bulb Syringe or an Electric Dental Device Equipment needed: Bulb syringe or electric dental device (Water Pik) Irrigation tips (if using Water Pik) Saline solution: One gallon of boiled or distilled water 4 teaspoons of sea salt or canning salt 1 teaspoon of Arm & Hammer baking soda Solution may be warmed prior to irrigation. Always use caution if warming solution to avoid excessive heating. Have a thermometer handy to measure the temperature. Temperature should be 103

Question:

I took it for about 6 weeks and all I got were headaches. My doctor just prescribed Singulair for my asthama. I was looking forward to taking it to see if it would help, until I read the information sheet from the pharmacy. There are alot of potenital side effects, and it kind of spooked me. Anyone else have any side effects, besides nightmares and headaches? Thanks!

The ONLY side effect I had from taking Singulair, was being a little more emotional than normal.  I have always been a sensitive person, but I would cry at a commercial if it was sentimental at all.  Silly, isn’t it?  Well, once I got on Zoloft (part of my migraine prevention routine), my emotional state has returned to normal.   Just my 2 cents..Good Luck, I hope Singulair works well for you! *hugs* Ash

Response:

I asked my doctor about taking the Singulair in the morning and he thought it would be ok.  He asked the rep. and they didn’t know why it was to be a night time dose. I can tell that it is working because I only need my rescue inhaler a few times a week instead of every day.  I do not like the weird dreams so I will cont. to take in the morning until I receive a "good" reason why I should take in the night.  Pam.

Response:

I take Singulair in the morning also.  I found if taken at night it makes my insomnia much worse.  Taking it in the morning works much better for me. I asked my doctor about taking the Singulair in the morning and he thought it would be ok.  He asked the rep. and they didn’t know why it was to be a night time dose. I can tell that it is working because I only need my rescue inhaler a few times a week instead of every day.  I do not like the weird dreams so I will cont. to take in the morning until I receive a "good" reason why I should take in the night.  Pam.

– Lisa M. DeSavage Hinsbar Laboratories, Inc. www.hinsbarlabs.com

Response:

From the Singular web page: Like all prescription drugs, SINGULAIR may cause side effects. In studies, side effects usually have been mild. They generally have not caused patients to stop taking SINGULAIR. The list below is NOT a complete list of side effects reported with SINGULAIR. Your doctor can discuss with you a more complete list of side effects. The side effects in patients treated with SINGULAIR were similar in type and frequency to side effects in patients who were given a placebo (a pill containing no medication). Some of the side effects reported in studies included: tiredness fever abdominal (stomach) pain stomach or intestinal upset (gastroenteritis) heartburn dizziness headache rash Additionally, the following have been reported:  allergic reactions such as swelling of the face, lips, tongue, and/or throat, which may cause difficulty in breathing or swallowing, hives, and itching; dream abnormalities, drowsiness, irritability, and restlessness. A condition, which includes a combination of certain persistent or worsening symptoms, has been reported rarely in patients given SINGULAIR. These symptoms may include: a flu-like illness, rash, pins and needles or numbness of arms or legs, and severe sinusitis. These have occurred usually, but not always, in patients whose oral corticosteroid medicine for asthma is being reduced. Although SINGULAIR has not been shown to cause this condition, you must tell your doctor immediately if you experience a combination of these symptoms. Remember, anytime you have a medical problem you think may be related to SINGULAIR, talk to your doctor. Tim – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Then that’s what it is!  I just started having bizarre dreams — sometimes nightmares — about a month ago.   And it did start about a week or so after I started the Singulair.  The Singulair is definitely helping me.  I don’t feel like I have a bad chest cold all of the time anymore (yeah!).   And I’ve been waking up at least twice every night for about 3 years now, so I guess I can live with the nightmares.  I’ll ask my doctor about it the next time I see him.  Thanx! Regarding nightmares: I think I read in a magazine ad (the part on the back of the ad that contains all the technical information about a drug) that Singulair can cause vivid dreams. You may want to discuss this rare side-effect with your doctor. I regularly have vivid dreams, I did both before and after going on Singulair last spring, but I have noticed an increase in the frequency of these dreams, rarely bad, since starting the med. Because I am used to the dreams anyway, they don’t bother me. Anyone else notice this when they started Singulair? Lisa S. — Starlight Bridals                  TOLL FREE!  888-VEILS-33 Affordable headpieces, veils, and more! Since 1995… http://starlightbridals.com

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My daughter  (20 yr old) is starting to have great relief with singulair. Night time asthma attacks are becoming less severe but she is having nightmares……and she feels there is some connection….anyone else experience this? Anne

Response:

I prefer morning too, so thanks for letting me know. I’ll ask my doc about it.

Response:

I took it for about 6 weeks and all I got were headaches. My doctor just prescribed Singulair for my asthama. I was looking forward to taking it to see if it would help, until I read the information sheet from the pharmacy. There are alot of potenital side effects, and it kind of spooked me. Anyone else have any side effects, besides nightmares and headaches?

Singulair is considered to ba a very safe medication.  The trick when looking for side effects is to compare the medication side effects with the placebo side effects.  The difference in the rates of the side effects suggest the likelihood of an actual side effect of the medication. No electrons were harmed in the posting of this message.

Response:

My doc switched me from Singulair to Accolate because I experienced numbness in my extremities and lips (of all places!) plus I was really disoriented when taking it.  Sort of spaced out feeling. Patrice – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I took it for about 6 weeks and all I got were headaches. My doctor just prescribed Singulair for my asthama. I was looking forward to taking it to see if it would help, until I read the information sheet from the pharmacy. There are alot of potenital side effects, and it kind of spooked me. Anyone else have any side effects, besides nightmares and headaches? Thanks!

Response:

i

Question:

Hi everyone, i’ve suffered headaches off and on my whole life, but over the past 8 days, I have had a severe morning headache every single morning.  It is more in the back of my head, my neck muscles are very sore and my jaw and bottom molars are sore as well. I take two excedrin migraine and the headache is completely gone within an hour, if I don’t take the excedrin, then well the headache stays with me for most of the day until after lunch.  Also my eyes are very light sensitive with these headaches. I had been on zoloft 50mg for about 8 months and two months ago I stopped taking it, I slowly weaned myself off of it.  I’m thinking these headaches could be from the zoloft withdrawal?  I also feel that I may be grinding my teeth at night but i’m not sure.  Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.

Response:

I had been on zoloft 50mg for about 8 months and two months ago I stopped taking it, I slowly weaned myself off of it. I’m thinking these headaches could be from the zoloft withdrawal? I also feel that I may be grinding my teeth at night but i’m not sure. Any thoughts?

IMHO, it may well be the grinding of your teeth, as well as not taking zoloft anymore.  Doctors say that anti-depressants are not addictive as benzo’s, but they are so wrong.  I  weaned myself off prozac very slowly, and I felt ok for  a few months.  Then all of a sudden, I developed dizzy spells, felt very sad and awful.  So…I took the prozac again, and bingo, the dizziness went away, my crying fits stopped, and felt better (but still have that same underlying feelings of sadness and feelings of despair , guilt, etc.  Try taking the zoloft again in small doses, and see if the headaches stop.  Then you know it was the brain yelling out for the zoloft.  The brain does not forget these little pills we take, and lets us know that it wants it again.  Of course, I could be entirely wrong about this.  Maybe your headaches are caused by tension.  Maybe this, or maybe that.  Good luck and be well.   Art Decco… nyc, usa

Response:

Question:

On Mon, 28 Jul 2003 15:51:24 GMT, "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote:

Norma, I am SO bad about thinking about ME ….

there’s a silly line from Ally McBeal where one character says "Why is everything always about you?"  Her answer, I believe, is "because it’s my life."  something to that effect.  of course you’re thinking about you. You are in pain and scared and that is how humans look at the world – through their eyes.

I have to say this: I have been told by a therapist at one time … that I have a small amount of borderline personality disorder.  I know I do .. cause I’ve read about it … and I fit it perfectly!  All except the wanting to commit suicide and cutting myself .. ick .. would never do that!

I would like to clarify – cutting (self-injury in general) is not a property of borderline personality disorder.  I’m sure "borderlines" do sometimes have this problem but it is not part and parcel of the disorder but a seperate issue that can be seen in the most otherwise mentally healthy individual.  Suicidal ideation is also not solely attributable to BPD and in fact the BPD people I know well do not have any desire to commit suicide.  I see more of each of these problems in bipolar disorder as well as in unipolar depression.  Are you getting treatment other than a therp saying you have BPD tendencies?  

BUT … part of the condition is being completely absorbed into the man in your life … and not being able to let go of what ‘he’s’ thinking ..

I think that is part of you.  The BPD individual I am closest to, really could care less about what her family, friends or significant other thinks or feels.

feeling .. doing.  And jealousy and trust is a HUGE thing for me!  

trust should be a huge thing.  Jealousy is something we can learn to deal with but trust is critical to any relationship.  You can not trust him, he’s shown you that.  

I’m seriously thinking of asking my doctor for an antidepressant during this time.. cause I KNOW if left on my own …. I’ll go crazy and do some damage to my system by the worrying and obsessions.

please do check into it.  But also make sure that this doc knows as much about meds and BPD as possible.  Some of the antidepressants can aggravate the anxiety levels of a situation and make it tougher for you to cope rather than easier.  I am not well-versed in treating BPD but fairly familiar with treating depression (bipolar or unipolar) and would recommend you talk to a good therp as well as a good psychiatrist (prescribing doc.)  

He did prescribe Zoloft for me once .. but I never took them .. threw them away … maybe he’ll just call them in for me.  I’m very scared to take them … cause I’m on meds for hypertension and rapid heartbeat, and I think they raise the blood pressure … will have to talk to him about it.  But I do know I may need something … for the obsessivness .. or I’ll just lose it!

some of the SRIs and SSRIs like zoloft, effexor and so on can increase BP.  I didn’t have this problem when I was on effexor but it sure had other side effects.  I don’t know if a tricyclic is the right treatment for you but I do know that this type of AD tends to lower b.p.  It can also increase your appetite tremendously.  I take Remeron now and then for that purpose only – one dose gives me 2-3 days of appetite and keeps me at a safe weight (I’m too thin – the disease prevents me from properly absorbing nutrients.)  The best known tricyclic is Elavil (Amitryptiline.)  I took Trazadone for sleep – a tricyclic not really that effective for depression – and it lowered my b.p. too much.  I had "brown outs" several times a day and had to stop the drug.

PS… if I sound ungrateful or bitchy .. I truly don’t mean to come across that way … I’m just really hurting today!

likewise -if we sound preachy and know-it-all it’s ’cause we want to help. kcat

Response:

What she said!! I’ve been there too- and while it is hard, it’s so freeing to be away from abuse.  I think you might find that you will feel better physically too… the stress of this whole things being behind you. My marriage to an abusive man broke up 6 years ago and I look back now, see how God carried me through it, and see where I am now–  and would do it over in a heartbeat. Hang in there! -Kristin "Opinion8d" <mm…@cox.net

wrote in message

news:ceoVa.151933$o86.40550@news1.central.cox.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

> news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > > I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t

mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems that when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at least not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. [snip]    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee Hi Dee. Can you feel the virtual arms of your pals here around you?? The first year is the worst……and yes, we tend to put ourselves on more severe guilt trips than the former "other" could ever dream up on their

own.

Your reactions to the emotions surging through your life are normal and natural. Acknowledge the anger, the frustration, guilt, and jealousy (the fear of

him

rebounding directly into another woman’s arms)……cry about it, scream about it, rag on and on to all your friends about it…………and

everyday

remind yourself that you MUST look after your own interests. Ahw hell……just read your post "Trying to Understand My Husband" over your morning coffee………that should help reinforce all the reasons

that

you have made your decision to remove the source of negativity that can

only

be described as destructive.    I know it would for me!! Yeah, I said and did all those things you mentioned when my first husband and I split……if only I had………if only things could have been different…….if only I was a better {insert your choice here}……..on and on and on………….. I entertained all sorts of crazy fantasies………ones that always ended with my daughter and I starting over in a new place with new names, and never worrying about the presence of the beast again………eventually I quit running from my emotions. I sat down and had the biggest cry of my life!!  A couple of hours later I felt calm and had an amazingly clear headed……..in that moment, I determined that I would not let the beast haunt me……..this is my life and I a responsible for my own destiny………God gave me all the tools

and

knowledge to survive and take care of myself — it was up to me to utilize them. The hardest thing for anyone to do is leave an abusive relationship…….and abuse comes in many more forms that the traditional smack in the choppers……you are the victim here.  From this day forward it is up to you………live your life as a victim, or face your future

with

hope and expectations of success. The road you are on now is rough and full of boulders………this too

shall

pass……..stick to your resolve, and make YOUR life happen.  In time,

the

pain begins to ease, and you can reflect on that relationship with a new perspective that allows you to move forward without any guilt or shame. Get a copy of "Women Who Love Too Much"  from your library…….block off an entire day, and read it cover to cover.  I cried most of the way

through

it…..tears of recognition……..tears of resolve…….tears of guilt

and

frustration……..and later, tears of relief.  I had recognized that I

was

in an unhealthy relationship and had the wisdom and courage to get out of it…….through the tears I learned what events in my life had influenced the decisions I had made, and how to recognize and avoid stimuli that triggered poor relationship choices. Marie

Response:

"Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net…

I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems

that

when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at

least

not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad.

[snip]

   I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Hi Dee. Can you feel the virtual arms of your pals here around you?? The first year is the worst……and yes, we tend to put ourselves on more severe guilt trips than the former "other" could ever dream up on their own. Your reactions to the emotions surging through your life are normal and natural. Acknowledge the anger, the frustration, guilt, and jealousy (the fear of him rebounding directly into another woman’s arms)……cry about it, scream about it, rag on and on to all your friends about it…………and everyday remind yourself that you MUST look after your own interests. Ahw hell……just read your post "Trying to Understand My Husband" over your morning coffee………that should help reinforce all the reasons that you have made your decision to remove the source of negativity that can only be described as destructive.    I know it would for me!! Yeah, I said and did all those things you mentioned when my first husband and I split……if only I had………if only things could have been different…….if only I was a better {insert your choice here}……..on and on and on………….. I entertained all sorts of crazy fantasies………ones that always ended with my daughter and I starting over in a new place with new names, and never worrying about the presence of the beast again………eventually I quit running from my emotions. I sat down and had the biggest cry of my life!!  A couple of hours later I felt calm and had an amazingly clear headed……..in that moment, I determined that I would not let the beast haunt me……..this is my life and I a responsible for my own destiny………God gave me all the tools and knowledge to survive and take care of myself — it was up to me to utilize them. The hardest thing for anyone to do is leave an abusive relationship…….and abuse comes in many more forms that the traditional smack in the choppers……you are the victim here.  From this day forward it is up to you………live your life as a victim, or face your future with hope and expectations of success. The road you are on now is rough and full of boulders………this too shall pass……..stick to your resolve, and make YOUR life happen.  In time, the pain begins to ease, and you can reflect on that relationship with a new perspective that allows you to move forward without any guilt or shame. Get a copy of "Women Who Love Too Much"  from your library…….block off an entire day, and read it cover to cover.  I cried most of the way through it…..tears of recognition……..tears of resolve…….tears of guilt and frustration……..and later, tears of relief.  I had recognized that I was in an unhealthy relationship and had the wisdom and courage to get out of it…….through the tears I learned what events in my life had influenced the decisions I had made, and how to recognize and avoid stimuli that triggered poor relationship choices. Marie

Response:

Dee, I have been sitting in your position in the past.  Please trust us on the NG here, that you made the right decision…it is hard because you are afraid. I have at least 5 major health disorders and I have emotional disorders as well.  In the past the completely bizarre feeling that if my husband leaves I will literally *disappear*–some strange feeling of getting "lost" and never getting found again.  These feeling have a completely logical basis for little children, but sometimes as adults we don’t realize that we have not outgrown all of them. You do need to think about supporting yourself, and not overdoing yourself. the best thing he can give you, rather than "the large monitor and the mouse" is temporary support.  Depending on the state you live in the court can order it.  Get as much as you can for as long as you can, and you should know that amount right up front.  that will bring your anxiety level down several notches. Take things in little steps.  I have so much more I could tell you, but this is so much right here.  I didn’t have time to read all of your posts… but I will go back. When the feelings get really bad, just find something to do.  And we are here for you. It’s gonna be okay. But more imortantly, it *is* okay, right now. I’ts okay.  It IS okay. You’re not bleeding. Take a deep breath. the house is not on fire. Take a deep breath. Your heart hurts badly Cry and feel the hurt Its okay to be hurting Its not fun, but its okay Take a deep breath. Mair "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems

that

when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at

least

not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me

…

but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be  honest with

myself.

I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t

there

for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the

way

I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things

too

… it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left ..

he

set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next .. so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go

to

work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full

time

… I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do

know

that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows

with

dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have

the

energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave

me

his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this

as

nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it

too

… and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted

upset

.. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do

love

him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t good for him.    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

Honey, I know you are hurting. It is the biggest hurt in the world.  Like my mom has told me "once you get over this hurt, a man will never be able to hurt you like that again"  That has been true for me. There are a lot of things you can’t see right now. Believe me, his guilt is not your guilt. We all have been jealousy at one time or another and that is a nasty emotion, but you can overcome this day. Whenever you are ready I am here.  Cry it out. Then one day you will wonder why you shed those tears over a damn man.  Honey, he or no other man is worth it. I’m just trying to be as honest with you as I can. Don’t get mad at any of us for trying to help, please. It can piss you off, but we are thinking about you not him. Norma "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

news:0EbVa.25257$Mc.1957704@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

Norma, I am SO bad about thinking about ME …. I have to say this: I have been told by a therapist at one time … that I have a small amount of borderline personality disorder.  I know I do .. cause I’ve read about it … and I fit it perfectly!  All except the

wanting

to commit suicide and cutting myself .. ick .. would never do that! BUT … part of the condition is being completely absorbed into the man in your life … and not being able to let go of what ‘he’s’ thinking .. feeling .. doing.  And jealousy and trust is a HUGE thing for me!  I mean

I

get SO hysterical .. that I’ll do some pretty stupid things out of jealousy!!  I dwell and dwell on what he’s doing when I’m not there …

how

he’ll be with women .. what they’ll do .. say … where they’ll go… how much happier he’ll be without me .. how much nicer they’ll treat him .. that somebody else .. younger, and healthier will treat him better .. and make him happy … and that will just KILL me … it will do me in, I

swear!

That’s how I am!!  I hate it … but it’s a reality! I’m seriously thinking of asking my doctor for an antidepressant during

this

time.. cause I KNOW if left on my own …. I’ll go crazy and do some

damage

to my system by the worrying and obsessions. He did prescribe Zoloft for me once .. but I never took them .. threw them away … maybe he’ll just call them in for me.  I’m very scared to take

them

… cause I’m on meds for hypertension and rapid heartbeat, and I think

they

raise the blood pressure … will have to talk to him about it.  But I do know I may need something … for the obsessivness .. or I’ll just lose

it!

Thanks so much for being here … As for ‘guilt’ .. as soon as I read what you said … and J too … I got defensive .. I mean .. inside my head and heart .. I said … NO .. he wasn’t making me feel guilty .. he  did it to be nice … he wanted me to have a nice computer when he was gone … and I still think that. Yes, I might consider talking on the phone .. maybe not just yet …

today’s > a hard day … crying lots and bleeding hard… some combination .. huh? > Thanks so much … truly I mean that! > Hugs, > Dee > PS… if I sound ungrateful or bitchy .. I truly don’t mean to come across > that way … I’m just really hurting today! > Norma <lup…@hotmail.com

wrote in message

> news:viag6pkd7vrc76@corp.supernews.com… > > Dee Dee Dee: > > Bless your heart. I know the pain seems impossible now, but you will be > > okay. Yes, time is the answer. It will get better day to day, week to > week. > > Honey, it takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to break a > marriage. > > Stop placing the all blame on yourself. > > According to his background you should be appalled. The only reason he > > "left" you the computer, etc. is called "GUILT".  He knows he’s done > wrong, > > but won’t admit it.  However, that is no reason, just an excuse. > > Get your feelings straightened out and get on with it.  Yes, dear it does > > take time and we’ve all been there, so know, that it will get better. > > If you want to send me a private email with your phone number, I will be > > glad to call you and talk. > > You have to concentrate on feeling better. That is the #1 priority. > > Thinking of you, > > Norma > > "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

> > news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > > > I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you > don’t > > > mind … > > > I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems > > that > > > when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at > > least > > > not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he

knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books

..

software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as

I

type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to

me

… but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be  honest with myself. I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON

I

yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t there for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be …

the

way I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man

I

needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these

things

too … it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that

he’s

sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left

..

he set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next

..

so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot

of

money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave

me

a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should

go

to work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just

hated

working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working

full

time … I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I

do

know that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea

I’m

working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go

over

well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home

shows

with dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I

have

the energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings …

and

sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave me his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could

have

a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a

short

talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do

this

as nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted

it

too … and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too

…

what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted upset .. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me

feel

worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do love him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me

in

many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t good for him.    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made

a

mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

Hi J, I know … it seems that way .. but for today … and for a bit .. it will be hard for me to believe that.    :-( I do truly believe he wanted me to have nice things … all though I AM the one who asked for his monitor, he didn’t vollunteer it .. but he DID put in all his memory for me … Sorry … I’m starting to cry again … got to go … bad day .. first day … you know. Thanks so much for being here … Hugs, Dee J Rogow <JRo…@SpammenotNewsguy.com

wrote in message

news:bg3e0302tir@enews3.newsguy.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

He’s trying to send you on a major guilt-trip. Don’t go! Dee wrote: I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems that when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at least not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me … but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be honest with myself. I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t there for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the way I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things too … it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left .. he set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next .. so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go to work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full time … I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do know that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows with dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have the energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave me his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this as nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it too … and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted upset .. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do love him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t    good for him. I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

Norma, I am SO bad about thinking about ME …. I have to say this: I have been told by a therapist at one time … that I have a small amount of borderline personality disorder.  I know I do .. cause I’ve read about it … and I fit it perfectly!  All except the wanting to commit suicide and cutting myself .. ick .. would never do that! BUT … part of the condition is being completely absorbed into the man in your life … and not being able to let go of what ‘he’s’ thinking .. feeling .. doing.  And jealousy and trust is a HUGE thing for me!  I mean I get SO hysterical .. that I’ll do some pretty stupid things out of jealousy!!  I dwell and dwell on what he’s doing when I’m not there … how he’ll be with women .. what they’ll do .. say … where they’ll go… how much happier he’ll be without me .. how much nicer they’ll treat him .. that somebody else .. younger, and healthier will treat him better .. and make him happy … and that will just KILL me … it will do me in, I swear! That’s how I am!!  I hate it … but it’s a reality! I’m seriously thinking of asking my doctor for an antidepressant during this time.. cause I KNOW if left on my own …. I’ll go crazy and do some damage to my system by the worrying and obsessions. He did prescribe Zoloft for me once .. but I never took them .. threw them away … maybe he’ll just call them in for me.  I’m very scared to take them … cause I’m on meds for hypertension and rapid heartbeat, and I think they raise the blood pressure … will have to talk to him about it.  But I do know I may need something … for the obsessivness .. or I’ll just lose it! Thanks so much for being here … As for ‘guilt’ .. as soon as I read what you said … and J too … I got defensive .. I mean .. inside my head and heart .. I said … NO .. he wasn’t making me feel guilty .. he  did it to be nice … he wanted me to have a nice computer when he was gone … and I still think that. Yes, I might consider talking on the phone .. maybe not just yet … today’s a hard day … crying lots and bleeding hard… some combination .. huh? Thanks so much … truly I mean that! Hugs, Dee PS… if I sound ungrateful or bitchy .. I truly don’t mean to come across that way … I’m just really hurting today! Norma <lup…@hotmail.com

wrote in message

news:viag6pkd7vrc76@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

Dee Dee Dee: Bless your heart. I know the pain seems impossible now, but you will be okay. Yes, time is the answer. It will get better day to day, week to

week.

Honey, it takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to break a

marriage.

Stop placing the all blame on yourself. According to his background you should be appalled. The only reason he "left" you the computer, etc. is called "GUILT".  He knows he’s done

wrong, > but won’t admit it.  However, that is no reason, just an excuse. > Get your feelings straightened out and get on with it.  Yes, dear it does > take time and we’ve all been there, so know, that it will get better. > If you want to send me a private email with your phone number, I will be > glad to call you and talk. > You have to concentrate on feeling better. That is the #1 priority. > Thinking of you, > Norma > "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

> news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > > I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t

mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems that when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at least not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me … but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be  honest with myself. I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t there for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the way I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching …

and

calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further

from

me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things too … it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left .. he set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to

work

… and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and

did

bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next ..

so

my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me

a

problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go to work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full time … I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do know that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I

just

made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows with dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have the energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he

gave

me his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have

a

nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He

took

out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to

work

… and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this as nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it too … and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry

that

he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted upset .. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews

racing

team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do love him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t good for him.    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

Dee Dee Dee: Bless your heart. I know the pain seems impossible now, but you will be okay. Yes, time is the answer. It will get better day to day, week to week. Honey, it takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to break a marriage. Stop placing the all blame on yourself. According to his background you should be appalled. The only reason he "left" you the computer, etc. is called "GUILT".  He knows he’s done wrong, but won’t admit it.  However, that is no reason, just an excuse. Get your feelings straightened out and get on with it.  Yes, dear it does take time and we’ve all been there, so know, that it will get better. If you want to send me a private email with your phone number, I will be glad to call you and talk. You have to concentrate on feeling better. That is the #1 priority. Thinking of you, Norma "Dee" <particl…@earthlink.net

wrote in message

news:7F9Va.122682$Io.10500495@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems

that

when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at

least

not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me

…

but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be  honest with

myself.

I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t

there

for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the

way

I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things

too

… it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left ..

he

set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next .. so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go

to

work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full

time

… I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do

know

that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows

with

dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have

the

energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave

me

his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this

as

nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it

too

… and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted

upset

.. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do

love

him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t good for him.    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

He’s trying to send you on a major guilt-trip. Don’t go! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dee wrote:

I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems that when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at least not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me … but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be honest with myself. I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t there for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the way I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things too … it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left .. he set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next .. so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go to work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full time … I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do know that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows with dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have the energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave me his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this as nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it too … and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted upset .. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do love him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t    good for him. I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

I just felt I needed to tell what he did to hurt me in our marriage… cause as I re-read my first post, I see me blaming myself for everything … well .. for allot. I think the things that hurt the most were:  him being immature and not standing up for me with his family, not taking MY side .. but theirs.  Not making his children respect me when they first met me.  His brother can do NO wrong … and he’s hurt me terribly standing up for his brother over me and my feelings.  When his nephews would talk vulgar and degrading about women (which is MOST of the time), and I told him it bothered me to be around them … he got mad at ME … telling me that’s how they are … and either I don’t go to the house … or I accept it… instead of him saying something .. standing up for me. He had a past with very young girls .. as you recall …. and I always felt (all though he never said this) that I was in competition with them … and with the last live-in 16 year old he was with.  She of course, was 16 .. and healthy … lively .. and loved the races!  Her father and brother raced too … so she was raised in it, and knew all about it .. which I never did.  I enjoyed going with him on occasion, but when I did … it would be the family that talks vulgar … and they pretty much ignored me most of the night … but Jim would get upset at me for not being more friendly … but I was .. it’s just that they’re so cold … and I feel very uncomfortable around them.  But he always wanted to go anyway … without me … and he did several times … and I sat home sad and lonely. He was very unaffectionate … and hardly ever hugged me, or kissed me on his own.  We could go for days without touching … if I didn’t approach him.  It was very hard on me.. as I’m a very lovable person.  Even when I DID approach him, many times he got annoyed … or would ‘grab’ me … and want sex.  Now mind you .. I love sex … probably more than he does … so that wasn’t a problem him wanting sex .. but it WAS a problem that sex was always ‘FU—-G’ if you can read between the letters.  And it was always quick and dirty .. him using very vulgar words and expressions.  I didn’t mind that once in a while … but not all the time!  When I would ask him to make love to me … he would get annoyed and not know what to do! And when I tried talking to him about these things .. he would get mad or annoyed and say that if I didn’t find fault (that’s his way of saying that I want to talk about things that were bothering me) … then he could be the husband I needed.  I doubt it .. cause when we were in marriage counseling … I followed the counselor and went 2 straight weeks without asking him for anything … or picking on him … or finding any fault .. or asking him to talk .. nothing.  I was as sweet and loving and helpful to him as I could be.  What happened?  He got me flowers once .. and that’s it!  He dropped the bomb on me … and never did much of anything else .. that the counselor told him to work on.  The counselor told me that he just didn’t want to work on his life .. or our marriage.  ’sigh’ His whole family is cold … and hard to get close to … and critical .. so I guess he’s part of the family! I really didn’t mean to just come in here and bash him … I guess I’m sort of journaling publicly .. to see how he’s hurt me … to remember … but .. ’sigh’ … when I feel sad about things .. it still doesn’t help.    :-( Hold my hand guys … and lend a shoulder … this is the hard time’s a comin! Hugs, Dee

Response:

I’m just gonna vent and spill out my feelings for a bit .. hope you don’t mind … I sit here feeling terrible … as expected I’m sure.  I know it seems that when a bad thing stops, it’s suppose to be good … but not so … at least not right away.  How could I make him leave his home?  The only place he knew?  His office sits there with his computer, his papers … books .. software .. he SO wanted to learn Dreamweaver … I sit here crying as I type … cause I’m not so sure I wasn’t the one who made this go bad. I know .. you will say I’m blaming myself … and letting him get to me … but no .. not really .. I guess I’m really trying to be  honest with myself. I wasn’t the perfect wife by no means … I mean… I know the REASON I yelled at him … and bitched … was because he hurt me .. and wasn’t there for me.. but he wasn’t there for me the way "I" wanted him to be … the way I needed.   Was that HIS fault?  Or was it just that he wasn’t the man I needed .. and never could be … and all my yellling and bitching … and calling him names .. and yes I admit .. I did call him so pretty bad things… did any of that help?  No!  All it did was push him further from me … and hurt him inside.  I guess I wish he were feeling these things too … it would make it easier on me .. that he’s hurting too .. that he’s sorry HE hurt ME too … He did so many things for me … while married … and before he left .. he set me up with my own business in the beginning .. not pushing me to work … and just work on my business … I did that for many years .. and did bring in some income .. but I would quit one idea and go to the next .. so my business never really took off good … nor did I ever make allot of money from it.  He worked hard .. all the time … and he never gave me a problem about working.  ok .. a few times he would say maybe I should go to work … and to tell the truth, back before I got sick … I just hated working!  I would find excuses … and he would accept them. Now .. I truly am sick … and it’s hard to imagine myself working full time … I’m almost positive I can’t.  I’m not sure about part time … I do know that I’m painting … and selling the paintings a little on ebay.  I just made a few cloth dolls and sold a them on ebay also.  I have an idea I’m working on with a few other women … with dolls .. and it might go over well and bring in some income … and I’ve thought of having home shows with dolls that other folks make … and I resell .. but I’m not sure I have the energy for that either.  I’d really love to work on my paintings … and sell them more often. I may HAVE to go to work part time…. but it scares me so! He did so many things he didn’t have to do .. before he left …. he gave me his BIG monitor .. his new mouse, and ALL his memory … so I could have a nice computer system to work with.  He also gave me the printer.  He took out the mattress he had been sleeping on this morning before going to work … and he put his clothes in a plastic garbage bag.    :-( It hurt me so much to see him have to give up everything!  I had a short talk with him before he left … and told him that I’ve tried to do this as nice as I can … and that he knew we had to separate, that he wanted it too … and there was no easy way of doing it.  I told him I was so sorry that he had no money or place to stay … but I was scared for myself too … what I’m going to do … where I’m getting the money to live. He acted upset .. and hurt … more upset .. annoyed .. angry .. and that made me feel worse. I just don’t know … I’m so confused!  I’m SO scared that he’ll be in another woman’s arms soon … he’s in the pitcrew for his newphews racing team … and at the track there are so many opportunities.  I still do love him .. and yet I know he hurt me … and I know he wasn’t good for me in many ways … yet I hurt him too, and I wasn’t good for him.    I hate this!!  I know .. time .. time .. time .. but what if I made a mistake? ?????? I’m done now …. anybody? Dee

Response:

Question:

snip More sleep will help. I thank you so much for caring, and wish you a beautiful day.

Thank you ) You certainly sound more cheerful now – I’m glad you found a doctor you can get along with.  Good luck for tomorrow; I hope you do make it out to the shops. — —  Whiskers

Response:

Sorry. New to this group. Haven’t read the FAQ yet ( Too desperately scared and exhausted. Hello and welcome to ASD ) I’m a Brit, but there are several Americans here too – I hope you feel at home.

 { Courtseys and thanks you most humbly ) } I haven’t read the full FAQ yet either – too big!  (I’ve only been here a year and a bit)  There is a much shorter version here, and other good stuff too <http://www.meowkitty.net/asd/

  THANK YOU! (Didn’t mean to scream ) How did you get on with the doctor this time?

    Oooh, thanks for asking! Had my 1st night’s sleep (6-7 hours!!!) in several days, no nightmares until towards the AM, and less scarey!     Nice, *older* doc; boss of doc who caused the pain. Immediately prescribed Elavil, the only anti-depressant that helps me function. My husband helped me describe symptoms & history, as I was still in major panic attack mode. ) He was an angel, as was the Dr., as are you )     Was given something to help me sleep,too. Feeling 30% better, at least. Can’t get rid of the feeling depression won’t relax as much as it can until I get home again (US) …..but working on attitude restructure. Praying to be able to go out & raid charity shops for strange clothes tomorrow ) Don’t know if *out* is possible yet; maybe with another night’s sleep. {prays to Someone} More sleep will help. I thank you so much for caring, and wish you a beautiful day. SC

Response:

Sorry. New to this group. Haven’t read the FAQ yet ( Too desperately scared and exhausted.

Hello and welcome to ASD ) I’m a Brit, but there are several Americans here too – I hope you feel at home. I haven’t read the full FAQ yet either – too big!  (I’ve only been here a year and a bit)  There is a much shorter version here, and other good stuff too <http://www.meowkitty.net/asd/ How did you get on with the doctor this time? — —  Whiskers

Response:

I’m sorry about your plight. It must be very difficult to adjust to living in a new country when you start out depressed.

   Depression was under control when I arrived here, because of Elavil and and antihistamine combo thaT worked for me. . In fact, I was rather euphoric to be coming to a new country to be with my soul mate. Same year, I was divorced after 14 years of the *wrong* marriage to a wonderful person. Many other changes. I had idealized England for so many years. I took myself off my medications, a very stupid thing, thinking I no longer needed them, that maybe my depression had been situational. Hopeful thinking, and not the most rational, as I’d been medicated for depression (hospitalized twice) throughout past 20  years. But, I thought, "New Life…."      But changes: working 50+ hours per week to no work here due to 8 month wait for a visa, which finally arrived a couple of weeks ago & now I can’t work. Never much of a housewife, and that’s basically my job here,although husband quite understanding. Accustomed to lots of interaction with diverse socio-economic-cultural community. *Zero* interaction here, due to lack of transportation & no $ /

Question:

I just started to take 75 mg effexor xr, since the prozac i use to take, wasn’t working very well anymore.  How is this anti-depressant like?  Is it better than the older SSRIs?  Sometimes I feel strange while I am on it. Does this go away with time?  Are there more or less sexual side effects with this one compared to SSRIS like prozac and zoloft? Thanks for any help

Response:

I just started to take 75 mg effexor xr, since the prozac i use to take, wasn’t working very well anymore.  How is this anti-depressant like?  Is it better than the older SSRIs?  Sometimes I feel strange while I am on it. Does this go away with time?  Are there more or less sexual side effects with this one compared to SSRIS like prozac and zoloft? Thanks for any help

I am now on 150 mg of Effexor, but it is only temporary. I have been on 75 mg since a couple of years ago, and there is no side effect which gives me problems. I am also on Risperdal, and recently my pdoc changed it for Zyprexa and I noted an increase of my sexual libido, so I am not sure if Effexor is lowering my libido. What I can say is that when I was married I didn’t find I needed more sexual drive than I actually had. If you find any annoying side effects from Effexor, most surely they’ll disappear in something like a week. — Teilhard Knight The Extraterrestrial Eat the sandwich to email    http://www.newsfeed.com       The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–

Response:

I just started to take 75 mg effexor xr, since the prozac i use to take, wasn’t working very well anymore.  How is this anti-depressant like?  Is it better than the older SSRIs?  Sometimes I feel strange while I am on it. Does this go away with time?  Are there more or less sexual side effects with this one compared to SSRIS like prozac and zoloft? Thanks for any help

Hi Keith.  I deal with a difficult to treat depression and after trying several ADs I tried Prozac and found it helped me quite a bit for nearly two years.  At least until I got hit with the infamous "Prozac poop-out".  Maybe that is what hit you as well?  Anyway, when it stopped working and sent me into one of the worst depressions I can remember my pdoc put me on Effexor XR.  After building up to 150mg over a couple of weeks I actually started feeling better.  I continued to improve and was beginning to think this may be a miracle med for me.  It helped my depression much like Prozac had at first but seemed to somehow be ’smoother’ in the way it pulled me out of depression without some of the side effects I sometimes had on Prozac.  That is until I started feeling not so good physically but I wasn’t sure what was wrong.  I eventually had my blood pressure checked and found that it was way too high. (like 180/205)  I ended up back at the pdocs and also seeing my regular medical doctor.  I had read that Effexor could raise blood pressure in some people.  Guess I’m one of the lucky ones.  To be fair I had previously had some minor blood pressure problems that had been treated and corrected.  I also have a family history of blood pressure/heart problems. I had told my pdoc about this but he said the chances of this causing me such problems were slim.  I am not trying to scare you about Effexor because I think it is a great med and I wish I could stay with it.  But I did want to let you know to at least be aware of this possibility and if you are not sure have your blood pressure checked once in awhile.  As far as treating depression goes, this helped me a lot with very few other side effects. Good luck and I hope it helps you as much as it helped me only without the blood pressure problem! Bonnie

Response:

Question:

ok, so here is my story went to my psych three weeks ago he told me to lower my dose of buspar from 40 mgs/day to 20mgs/day, then after 2 weeks go off it all together am still taking the zoloft, 100 mgs/day and the lorazepam, .5 mgs/day, sometimes 1 mg/day neways, did that wrong thing to do yesterday aft, had about 5-6 panic attacks in a matter of 2 hours shitty shitty shitty thought 4 sure i was going to die tried everything possible, but the damn things kept coming back finally got ahold of my family doc, after trying numerous times to get ahold of my psych he told me to go back on the buspar and start with 10 mgs/day, but hell with that am going to take 20 mgs/day after yesterday, don’t want that to happen again hopefully today will b alot better scared the shit outta my 6 yr old and my fiance will let you all know tomorrow how i did today later…..

Response:

Sounds like the BuSpar was augmenting the anti-panic effects of the Zoloft. Chip

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here is my story went to my psych three weeks ago he told me to lower my dose of buspar from 40 mgs/day to 20mgs/day, then after 2 weeks go off it all together am still taking the zoloft, 100 mgs/day and the lorazepam, .5 mgs/day, sometimes 1 mg/day neways, did that wrong thing to do yesterday aft, had about 5-6 panic attacks in a matter of 2 hours shitty shitty shitty thought 4 sure i was going to die tried everything possible, but the damn things kept coming back finally got ahold of my family doc, after trying numerous times to get ahold of my psych he told me to go back on the buspar and start with 10 mgs/day, but hell with that am going to take 20 mgs/day after yesterday, don’t want that to happen again hopefully today will b alot better scared the shit outta my 6 yr old and my fiance will let you all know tomorrow how i did today later…..

Response:

:he told me to go back on the buspar and start with 10 mgs/day, but hell with :that :am going to take 20 mgs/day :after yesterday, don’t want that to happen again :hopefully today will b alot better :scared the shit outta my 6 yr old and my fiance :will let you all know tomorrow how i did today :later….. Hi Joe, I would talk to your psych doctor before you reinstate the Buspar. Buspar is NOT a med for panic disorder, it is usually ineffective in treating panic attacks. I recall a few weeks ago that you`ve been trying to get off increased anxiety could very well be from that. How long have you been on Ativan and why are you trying to get off of it? I think it is very important that you talk to your psych doctor today about what happened over the weekend. Jackie ~*~Life was so much easier when your clothes didn’t match and boys had cooties~*~

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here is my story went to my psych three weeks ago he told me to lower my dose of buspar from 40 mgs/day to 20mgs/day, then after 2 weeks go off it all together am still taking the zoloft, 100 mgs/day and the lorazepam, .5 mgs/day, sometimes 1 mg/day neways, did that wrong thing to do yesterday aft, had about 5-6 panic attacks in a matter of 2 hours shitty shitty shitty thought 4 sure i was going to die tried everything possible, but the damn things kept coming back finally got ahold of my family doc, after trying numerous times to get ahold of my psych he told me to go back on the buspar and start with 10 mgs/day, but hell with that am going to take 20 mgs/day after yesterday, don’t want that to happen again hopefully today will b alot better scared the shit outta my 6 yr old and my fiance will let you all know tomorrow how i did today later…..

If you have panic attacks and are diagnosed with Panic Disorder I would skip the Buspar if I were you. It rarely if ever works for PD and only sometimes for mild to moderate GAD. IMHO and exceptions to the rule notwithstanding this is a med we can do without. However, your Zoloft dose can be raised and, perhaps more importantly, so can your lorazepam. You should of course run this by your doctor (even if he prescribed you Buspar for panic which is reason enough to switch pdocs) but it might be a good idea to take lorazepam at a regular daily dose as well (starting with 1 mg four times daily, see what that gets you and take it from there) to avoid panic attacks connected with interdose anxiety (lorazepam is a short working benzo, it works for an average of 6 hours). Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

okay, so yesterday went well took the 10mgs of buspar in the am and another 10 in the pm my psych told me that if i started having problems again, that i could go back on it he also told me that the buspar boosts, or whatever, the zoloft i don’t want to go off the lorazepam, by any means, but the docs r hounding me too but they work, so y should i hopefully 2day will b just as good as yesterday, if not better thanx for all the input guys oh yeah, and by the way, joe isn’t my name, it is audrey it is just the way we have our email set up later…… audrey

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ok, so here is my story went to my psych three weeks ago he told me to lower my dose of buspar from 40 mgs/day to 20mgs/day, then after 2 weeks go off it all together am still taking the zoloft, 100 mgs/day and the lorazepam, .5 mgs/day, sometimes 1 mg/day neways, did that wrong thing to do yesterday aft, had about 5-6 panic attacks in a matter of 2 hours shitty shitty shitty thought 4 sure i was going to die tried everything possible, but the damn things kept coming back finally got ahold of my family doc, after trying numerous times to get ahold of my psych he told me to go back on the buspar and start with 10 mgs/day, but hell with that am going to take 20 mgs/day after yesterday, don’t want that to happen again hopefully today will b alot better scared the shit outta my 6 yr old and my fiance will let you all know tomorrow how i did today later….. If you have panic attacks and are diagnosed with Panic Disorder I would skip the Buspar if I were you. It rarely if ever works for PD and only sometimes for mild to moderate GAD. IMHO and exceptions to the rule notwithstanding this is a med we can do without. However, your Zoloft dose can be raised and, perhaps more importantly, so can your lorazepam. You should of course run this by your doctor (even if he prescribed you Buspar for panic which is reason enough to switch pdocs) but it might be a good idea to take lorazepam at a regular daily dose as well (starting with 1 mg four times daily, see what that gets you and take it from there) to avoid panic attacks connected with interdose anxiety (lorazepam is a short working benzo, it works for an average of 6 hours). Philip

Response:

Question:

I take a total of 375mg of Effexor (75mg tablets).  Does it matter when I take it?  I know that certain drugs it doesn’t matter when or how you break up the dosage, but in others it does make a difference.  Thanks for your help. T*A*R

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Apparently, Effexor needs to be taken twice a day as it doesn’t stay in the system as long as others. p – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I take a total of 375mg of Effexor (75mg tablets).  Does it matter when I take it?  I know that certain drugs it doesn’t matter when or how you break up the dosage, but in others it does make a difference.  Thanks for your help. T*A*R

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<Posted and Mailed Apparently, Effexor needs to be taken twice a day as it doesn’t stay in the system as long as others.

With that (375 mg) high of a dose of Effexor, I would definitely suggest taking it 4 times per day in order to level out the amount of antidepressant in a person’s system. I found that taking Effexor only twice per day induced ultra-rapid hypomanic swings in me. There is now a new extended release form of Effexor that should reduce this probability. However I have not personally tried that formulation. p I take a total of 375mg of Effexor (75mg tablets). Does it matter when I take it?  I know that certain drugs it doesn’t matter when or how you break up the dosage, but in others it does make a difference.  Thanks for your help.

That is a lot of Effexor! My guess is that your mood stabilizer is not doing its job for you adequately — if you need that large of a dosage of AD to keep you out of depression. I suggest that you talk with your pdoc if you are not satisfied with the effectiveness of your current mood stabilizer. If you start to take either of the two newer mood stabilizers (Neurontin or Lamictal), I strongly recommend that you discuss with your pdoc about cutting way back on your Effexor dose — else you will run the risk of being rapidly sent into (hypo)mania. BTW I take all my meds (with the exception of certain antibiotics and insulin) with meals or milk. This seems to help with stomach irritation and nausea. YSMV (Your Stomach May Vary). T*A*R

HTH! Best regards from, James — * Since I do not get a complete Newsfeed, I would appreciate receiving * * a copy of any responding posts. Please also indicate if you are      * * posting as well as emailing me. Thanks for helping me out!           *

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Question:

The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake". That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!! -Slipper

Thanks, Slipper.  I needed that …except it hurts to laugh!  You reminded me of a professor I had in grad school who had Parkinson’s. On those wonderful occassions when we would teach together, he would enter the room first with me trailing (and flailing). We would finally get to the front of the lecture hall and he’d introduce us.  "Hi. They call me ‘Old Shaky’ and this is my partner, ‘Spaz’." Shalom, Chana Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy."

Response:

This is so cool.  Here I am, aspiring to become a writer; I answer a newsgroup post and now I’m gonna be in print all over!!!  And more than anything, I’ll have the ultimate "last word" on a multitude of physicians via my pals, the dystoniacs. The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake".  That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay!  Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!! -Slipper

Response:

The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake". That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!! -Slipper Thanks, Slipper.  I needed that …except it hurts to laugh!  You reminded me of a professor I had in grad school who had Parkinson=

’s. On those wonderful occassions when we would teach together, he would enter the room first with me trailing (and flailing). We wo= uld finally get to the front of the lecture hall and he’d introduce us.  "Hi. They call me ‘Old Shaky’ and this is my partner, ‘Spaz= ‘." Shalom, Chana Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy."

Oh me…It is the Chana & Slipper show!!  How fun!  And Chana, your post also appeared as one long line on my server…it is only when I do a ‘post reply’ that your post and Slipper’s take on ‘normal’ form!!  Wonder if it is moi or yoi…<<<VBG MB

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Hi gang. Yes, I feel like I have found a "special" place.  I moved from VA to TX 2 years ago leaving behind family and friends that had been thru it all with me.  That was quite a loss and have been depressed since. (though my husband and daughter are wonderful ) Thanks for all your responses.  I have laughed and cried. I am sure you understand what a.s.d. means to me already. I had my botox shots last Wednesday (300 units) and dr. started me on Klonopin (1 mg). Sure hoping this helps my spasms which for some reason have gotten worse lately. Thanks again.  Talk to yall soon.    Bonnie

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 <SNIP…   Ahhh, but Roger has already warned Slipper of the infamous Mary Beth–NO FAIR, Roger!!!  Now I cannot pounce and be taken seriously <<VBG C’mon now MB! That’s "I cannot pounce OR be taken seriously!"

OOPS!!  Grammar check failed me…what to do, what to do?? Now I tell you, has anyone in any of the countries to which our group us ever taken an MB pounce seriously. (Slipper, it’s those innocent approaches you will have to watch.

John you know me too well!  Now Slipper will just be a lil devil and the Den Mom will have to grin and bear it.  What trouble you do cause, Sir John!! Giving MB the Slip<per I remain, Your humble servant  John  :-)

No, no…I raised your rank above =8-} – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

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  <SNIP…       Ahhh, but Roger has already warned Slipper of the infamous Mary Beth–NO FAIR, Roger!!!  Now I cannot pounce and be taken seriously <<VBG

C’mon now MB! That’s "I cannot pounce OR be taken seriously!" Now I tell you, has anyone in any of the countries to which our group us ever taken an MB pounce seriously. (Slipper, it’s those innocent approaches you will have to watch. Giving MB the Slip<per I remain, Your humble servant   John  :-)

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Believe us when we say we have "superior intelligence".  You know how many doctors it takes to diagnosis dystonia? Ten: One to explain that doctors are not magicians; One to say that you have fribromyalgia; One to say you have slight scoliosis; One to say you have a headache and some endurance problems; One to say you have TMJ One to say you have a Benign Essential Tremor and rigidity; One to say you are suffering from a psychogenic disorder aka depression; Two to hold the neurological textbooks at the public library open for you while you diagnosis yourself using American Online’s Medline; And one to follow your instructions when you decide which medications you need to take. SLIPPER I thought I had read this somewhere before,then I seen the name in the address. Glad you found us. Everyone meet slipper. We have become friends through e-mail recently. Slipper meet the gang, just watch out for that Mary Beth. Good to see you have joined our online family. Roger

I LOVE THIS GROUP!!!!!!!  With Roger’s ‘Stamp of Approval’, this new one ‘Slipper’ has an easy road <<giggle Of course the fact that what was posted is completely Wonderful has something to do with it!  Like Chana, I have also printed it out to disperse among friends & doctors. Ahhh, but Roger has already warned Slipper of the infamous Mary Beth–NO FAIR, Roger!!!  Now I cannot pounce and be taken seriously <<VBG Anyhow, welcome Slipper, be ye male, female, or…well, OK I’ll say it… Slipper kinda sounds like a pet’s name, as in ‘here Slipper, Slipper’ Sorry Roger, you always bring out my ‘best’ side!! MB

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Believe us when we say we have "superior intelligence".  You know how many doctors it takes to diagnosis dystonia? Ten: One to explain that doctors are not magicians; One to say that you have fribromyalgia; One to say you have slight scoliosis; One to say you have a headache and some endurance problems; One to say you have TMJ One to say you have a Benign Essential Tremor and rigidity; One to say you are suffering from a psychogenic disorder aka depression; Two to hold the neurological textbooks at the public library open for you while you diagnosis yourself using American Online’s Medline; And one to follow your instructions when you decide which medications you need to take.

I LOVE THIS!!!  There is someone else out there who is brilliant and funny just like the rest of us!  We ARE a smart bunch, no? Chana P.S.  I’m sending a copy of this to my neurologist and family friend and physician.  I know that, at least, the latter will ROFL… Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy."

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Believe us when we say we have "superior intelligence".  You know how many doctors it takes to diagnosis dystonia? Ten: One to explain that doctors are not magicians; One to say that you have fribromyalgia; One to say you have slight scoliosis; One to say you have a headache and some endurance problems; One to say you have TMJ One to say you have a Benign Essential Tremor and rigidity; One to say you are suffering from a psychogenic disorder aka depression; Two to hold the neurological textbooks at the public library open for you while you diagnosis yourself using American Online’s Medline; And one to follow your instructions when you decide which medications you need to take.

SLIPPER I thought I had read this somewhere before,then I seen the name in the address. Glad you found us. Everyone meet slipper. We have become friends through e-mail recently. Slipper meet the gang, just watch out for that Mary Beth. Good to see you have joined our online family. Roger

Response:

Believe us when we say we have "superior intelligence".  You know how many doctors it takes to diagnosis dystonia? Ten: One to explain that doctors are not magicians; One to say that you have fribromyalgia; One to say you have slight scoliosis; One to say you have a headache and some endurance problems; One to say you have TMJ One to say you have a Benign Essential Tremor and rigidity; One to say you are suffering from a psychogenic disorder aka depression; Two to hold the neurological textbooks at the public library open for you while you diagnosis yourself using American Online’s Medline; And one to follow your instructions when you decide which medications you need to take.

Response:

Hi! Bonnie I just read your post and I’m also excited about finding all this on my new computer.  I’m had Dystonia since I was a teenager and I am a NSTA support leader in Atlanta, Georgia.  I would love to correspond with you and maybe we could compare notes, this is a GREAT newsgroup and you will love it. Best wishes, Kathie

Response:

Welcome Bonnie! If you’ve got a sense of humor, you’ve found the right place!  As serious as we can be, most of us can find SOMEthing to laugh at! Have you thought of contacting your regional coordinator from the Dystonia Medical Research Foundation in starting a support group?=

  I’ve just come back from one of their conventions and we sure do have a lot to offer?  MB will pipe in with more information and h= I’m a bit older than yourself but just beginning my ‘relationship’ with the diagnosis of dystonia … even though I’ve had dystonia=

 since I can remember.  Personally, I think we were given ’superior intelligence’ to make up for our differences. <<grin Looking forward to hearing from you again. Chana Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy."

Golly, I feel like I am being paged again!!  Yes, Chana, here I am at your service <<giggle Actually, Bonnie!  Chana has a wonderful point which I completely overlooked [I am really scattered presently].  There is a support group called the ‘Dallas-Fort Worth’ Support Group in Cedar Hill TX.  Leader is Patricia Foreman and her home # is 214 299-5715.  You might want to touch base with her OR the Regional Cordinator for that regon is Bill Rapp in New Orleans and Bill’s # is 504 254-2455.  Good Luck, Bonnie! MB

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Welcome Bonnie! If you’ve got a sense of humor, you’ve found the right place!  As serious as we can be, most of us can find SOMEthing to laugh at! I’m a bit older than yourself but just beginning my ‘relationship’ with the diagnosis of dystonia … even though I’ve had dystonia since I can remember.  Personally, I think we were given ’superior intelligence’ to make up for our differences. <<grin Looking forward to hearing from you again. Chana Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy."

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My name is Bonnie and have had dystonia since I was 18 (now 41).  I receive Botox injections (ST) also have problems with left foot and writers cramp with scolosis and degenerative disc disease. Whew!!! But keeping a positive attitude and a sense of humor is the only way to deal with this.  So glad I got a computer in Dec.; never expected to find anything when I typed in dystonia for web search ;boy, was I suprised. This is great.  Well, I could write a book of my experiences over the years.  Just wanted to say hello and this has been a godsend.  I have never encounted anyone else with dystonia; have joined NSTA and talked with my doctor yesterday about starting a support group in my area (Ft. Worth, TX).  She has other patients she is contacting for me anf if they are interested will give them my #.  I sure hope this works out.  If I can help any one, please do not hesitiate to post or e-mail me. Thanks and remember you are not alone.      Bonnie

Welcome Bonnie!!  We are so glad you have found us and are willing to post!  Another Texan…hmmmm, we are blessed with Canadians and Texans, aren’t we? Good luck with the support group…if ya happen to speak with either Jan Richter or Patricia Murray, say hi from Mary Beth (MB). And please keep posting, your experience is invaluable! TTYS, MB

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My name is Bonnie and have had dystonia since I was 18 (now 41).  I receive Botox injections (ST) also have problems with left foot and writers cramp with scolosis and degenerative disc disease. Whew!!! But keeping a positive attitude and a sense of humor is the only way to deal with this.  So glad I got a computer in Dec.; never expected to find anything when I typed in dystonia for web search ;boy, was I suprised. This is great.  Well, I could write a book of my experiences over the years.  Just wanted to say hello and this has been a godsend.  I have never encounted anyone else with dystonia; have joined NSTA and talked with my doctor yesterday about starting a support group in my area (Ft. Worth, TX).  She has other patients she is contacting for me anf if they are interested will give them my #.  I sure hope this works out.  If I can help any one, please do not hesitiate to post or e-mail me. Thanks and remember you are not alone.      Bonnie

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This is so cool.  Here I am, aspiring to become a writer; I answer a newsgroup post and now I’m gonna be in print all over!!!  And more than anything, I’ll have the ultimate "last word" on a multitude of physicians via my pals, the dystoniacs. The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake".  That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay!  Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!! -Slipper

Oh Great Slipper, I would like to respectfully welcome you to the alt.support.dystonia news group on the part of those of us living in the maritime provinces:-) I am sure our charming Mary Beth Chan will be officially welcoming you shortly. Gene

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<<snip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Oh me…It is the Chana & Slipper show!!  How fun!  And Chana, your post also appeared as one long line on my server…it is only when I do a ‘post reply’ that your post and Slipper’s take on ‘normal’ form!!  Wonder if it is moi or yoi…<<<VBG MB MB I have the same problem.  I always find this very baffling as most of the post I can read on my screen but there are one or two that seem to go past the right hand margin.  Mally made a suggestion of what I should do but I have never been able to get it to work. Glad to have the company. Faye

If you are using Free Agent, try this: Click Options, then Posting, then pick the "General." tab.  There is a choice for Line length.  Choose 70, then click OK. Other newsreaders should have similar options. Jeff Jeff H.

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I am curious about your post itself…it came onto my server as one long line and then a line that appeared to be typed and typed over-top-of many times.  This happened to Chana’s posts too, still is on my server at least.  AOL is having more trouble?  Or what? Ideas anybody? In any case, no matter how your posts ‘look’, I really enjoy having you with us! MB

MB, I just finished describing this problem to Chana… I guess if others are having it too, I should redo it publically. The problem lies within the AOL newsreader.  It appears to not know how to insert a carraige return to wrap a line, and so those posting from AOL are indeed writing one *very* long line instead of a paragraph.  Those who can read the messages fine are using newsreaders that are able to fake-out the problem and wrap the lines to fit that user’s screen.  This is why some people are able to read these posting no problem but others are having troubles and seeing only one line. We need those using AOL to manually insert carriage returns when they come to the end of a line on their screen (and continue their sentence on the next line).  They will need to do this for every line of text for their whole posting as the problem will occur any time they don’t hit that ol’ "return" key. Other than that, people having troubles can see about any "line wrap" options in their own software that they can turn on when they come across a one-line AOL posting, or other means of justifying the message so it is readable in a paragraph format (such as saving the message and opening it up in another program such as a word processor.) Cathy. —  (—-)                                                     (—-)   "  "         http://www.cuug.ab.ca:8001/~collisoc          "  "

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I have the same problem.  I always find this very baffling as most of the post I can read on my screen but there are one or two that seem to go past the right hand margin.  Mally made a suggestion of what I should do but I have never been able to get it to work. Glad to have the company. Faye

Someone mention my name?  Hi Faye!  <waving away at you Depending on what newsreader you’re using, search through your menu lists for "word wrap".  In Free Agent, if you click on that, it will stay "clicked" – a check mark will appear beside it.  Then any post that goes off the side of your screen will get "wrapped" automatically.  IOW, it will fit into the margins you have set in your default.  You may find that you will then half lines followed by "=" or some such weird little squiggles or symbols.  Just ignore those, they are the "line breaks" showing up as symbols.  Hokey? For those whose posts are too wide, check in your "Page Setup" for margins – usually found under "File".  Do this while you are in "Post" or "Reply" mode/screen. Mally  :)

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake". That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!! -Slipper Thanks, Slipper.  I needed that …except it hurts to laugh!  You reminded me of a professor I had in grad school who had Parkinson= ’s. On those wonderful occassions when we would teach together, he would enter the room first with me trailing (and flailing). We wo= uld finally get to the front of the lecture hall and he’d introduce us.  "Hi. They call me ‘Old Shaky’ and this is my partner, ‘Spaz= ‘." Shalom, Chana Mitzvah g’dolah l’hiyot b’simcha. "It is a great mitzvah to exist in a state of joy." Oh me…It is the Chana & Slipper show!!  How fun!  And Chana, your post also appeared as one long line on my server…it is only when I do a ‘post reply’ that your post and Slipper’s take on ‘normal’ form!!  Wonder if it is moi or yoi…<<<VBG MB

MB I have the same problem.  I always find this very baffling as most of the post I can read on my screen but there are one or two that seem to go past the right hand margin.  Mally made a suggestion of what I should do but I have never been able to get it to work. Glad to have the company. Faye

Response:

This is so cool.  Here I am, aspiring to become a writer; I answer a newsgroup post and now I’m gonna be in print all over!!!  And more than anything, I’ll have the ultimate "last word" on a multitude of physicians via my pals, the dystoniacs. The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exhibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake".  That does not fit on contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some res -Slipper

Spaz-twista-shake,hey that fits me oh she who is great. I thought that was a nick name you had,and here I thought I knew you. Well I’ll talh to you later. Roger

Response:

Hi Bonnie- Greetings to you from Chicago!  Just a quick note to welcome you to the "family."  I wanted to ensure that you are also familiar with our organization, The Dystonia Medical Research Foundation.  We are the largest international organizations for dystonia-affected persons and their families (over 25,000 members!)  Our Foundation has a 3-fold mission:  to support dystonia-specific medical research (we have supported over $14 million to-date), to increase public and physician awareness of dystonia, and to sponsor educational and support programs for affected individuals and their families.  If you are not familiar with our gladly send them to you.  We also have a support group manual that may help you to get things started in Ft. Worth.   Take care, Jennifer Molski Dystonia Medical Research Foundation

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is so cool.  Here I am, aspiring to become a writer; I answer a newsgroup post and now I’m gonna be in print all over!!!  And = more than anything, I’ll have the ultimate "last word" on a multitude of physicians via my pals, the dystoniacs. The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exh= ibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was= 1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake".  That does not fit on = contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay!  Jeeeeeeeeeeeee= ese!!!!!! -Slipper Hi Slipper, So I am understanding that you are part Jew, part American Indian?  WOW!! What a wonderful combination I am curious about your post itself…it came onto my server as one long line and then a line that appeared to be typed and typed over-top-of many times.  This happened to Chana’s posts too, still is on my server at least.  AOL is having more trouble?  Or what? Ideas anybody? In any case, no matter how your posts ‘look’, I really enjoy having you with us! MB

Shoot!!  First it would not post and then it posted twice!!  Sorry! MB

Response:

This is so cool.  Here I am, aspiring to become a writer; I answer a newsgroup post and now I’m gonna be in print all over!!!  And =

more than anything, I’ll have the ultimate "last word" on a multitude of physicians via my pals, the dystoniacs. The name "Slipper" ain’t a pet name.  It is a version of an old family name handed down over the years to the "chosen" ones who exh=

ibited certain qualities.  "Slipper" is a Hebrew term for, "She who is great".  My great, great grandmother, also a chosen one,  was=  1/2 American Indian and was called "She who is great", but in indian it was pronounced, "Spaz-twista-shake".  That does not fit on = contemporary birth certificates. Therefore it was shown in Hebrew, pronouced "Slipper". Yaw show some respect, okay!  Jeeeeeeeeeeeee= ese!!!!!! -Slipper

Hi Slipper, So I am understanding that you are part Jew, part American Indian?  WOW!! What a wonderful combination I am curious about your post itself…it came onto my server as one long line and then a line that appeared to be typed and typed over-top-of many times.  This happened to Chana’s posts too, still is on my server at least.  AOL is having more trouble?  Or what? Ideas anybody? In any case, no matter how your posts ‘look’, I really enjoy having you with us! MB

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