Question:
WK, Now that you’re getting some relief with Xanax, are you going to try getting back into the work world? Considering how long you’ve had to stay away, you might want to check with your local gov’t., your doctor, whoever, to see if there is "dept." set up to help people with mental disabilities re-enter the work force. I’d like to say that potential employers will probably just gloss over your 2 year absence, but that’s unlikely. Sad to say, but there’s still tons of ignorance and some stigma attached to having a disorder. Anyway, getting back to some sort of go between organization, if it exists, (and I know it does in some states in the U.S.), such a dept. can smooth the waters some in locating employers who’re interested in what you can do and will have been properly briefed that you have an anxiety disorder, but are being treated for it. Something else to think about, and you may already be doing this, is that for an interview or any particularly stressful event, I’ve found that taking an extra dose or two of Xanax all at once just before the ordeal can make it a lot less stressful. I had to experiment some to find the right amount and you may too (not enuf vs. too much). Good luck. Doug On 2 Feb 2002 22:19:52 -0800, vegasrules…@yahoo.com (White Knight) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
I am sick and tired about all these posts trying to scare people away from trying xanax. As someone who has suffered from bipolar disorder(type 2) for 15 years, tried all the antidepressants, now on a cocktail of meds, including xanax and paxil, my experience is that PAXIL has many more adverse effects versus the marginal benefit of some anxiety relief. I took Paxil for 5 months and was not taking any xanax, and I got some anticapation anxiety relief at the cost of NO LIBIDO, sleeping 12 hours a day, having no motivation, just didn’t give a shit, already gained 10 pounds in 5 months with the carbo craving…..And people want to talk about xanax dependency and problems with withdrawl. I am not trying to minimize people’s experience or their pain, but with anxiety or other mental health issues, the word is YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY(YMMY). I am a college graduate in electrical engineering from a top 5 engineering college, and now have not worked for over two years mostly because of anxiety and some depression yearly. After working for 11 years struggling with depression and anxiety, I now have a hard time stepping outside my home. I have considered suicide 1000’s of times over the last 15 years, actually researched and made the plans and was about to end it, and then I started on the Paxil…….Yeah, my suicidal obsessions went away, but now I was content to veg out all day watching TY or on the Net, my desire to GET A JOB disappeared. Go research web sites and you will see how many people have problems with SSRI’s, yeah they are alive and taking that $3 pill two times a day or many $3 pills for me, but now I am NUMB and just there. Prior to Paxil I use to be a emotional person, felt the pain of others and would cry when touched by something, but now I am a Paxil-zombie, yeah some anxiety relief but a LOT OF ME is also gone. So all those xanax phobics, please allow people to fail with their options without scaring them. What are people’s choices when it comes to anxiety or panic, yes paxil, yes benzo’s, yes MAIO’s, yes CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy). My experience is PAXIL SUCKS and THE WITHDRAWAL IS HORRIBLE BASED ON MUCH FEEDBACK I HAVE READ ON THE NET, MAIO’S like parnate have some studies that back them up but the food restrictions are VERY DIFFICULT(no cheese, wine, beer, chocolate, many OTC meds, etc.), CBT might work for some but the feedback I have heard is that CBT plus meds work the best and I HAVE DONE THE THERAPY ROUTE and it was a waste of money. As one doctor told me, people who suffer from PANIC and think they are dieing have never been told that "your not going to die, it is all in your head"…Well that was my last session with him. Just to repeat, this is MY EXPERIENCE and YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. Now I could continue to HIBERNATE IN MY HOUSE, NOT WORK, RUN OUT OF MONEY AND THEN BE HOMELESS…..Or I can be proactive and continue to experiment and try to find some solution that will allow me to work and have a life. I have taken xanax in the past, just started it one month ago, still taking a low dose of paxil, and I am MUCH MUCH BETTER at dealing with day to day life, interacting with people, giving my shit done, etc. Yeah, maybe I will be taking xanax for the rest of my life but the only side effect I have had is some sleepiness. And to those who talk about TOLERANCE BUILDUP, that is a CROCK, yes you might have to increase your xanax from .25mg 3 times a day to .50mg 3 times a day, or even 1mg 3 times a day……..The fact is that people level out, there are people who have taken xanax for 5 to 15 years and most leveled out after 1 year at a dose and have no desire to increase. People need to do some research and FIND OUT THE REAL TRUTH, not what BIG PHARMA and BIG BUSINESS OWNED MEDIA OUTLETS want us to believe. Not to be cynical, but $3 no generic available paxil is much better for DRUG COMPANIES, then CHEAP GENERIC XANAX which might be more effective with less side-effects. Why are benzo’s so hard to get, cause drug lobbiest have access to CONGRESS and made sure that THE NO-PROFIT SOLUTIONS(IE LIKE BENZO’S) are not readily available. Let me make THE NEWCOMERS TO MENTAL ILLNESS aware that HYPE ABOUT THE LATEST ANTIDEPRESSANT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT WILL BE MADE ON THE DRUG, and the only time you will hear about THE NEGATIVES about that drug will be when it comes off-patent. Now that we have generic prozac, we will hear more about side effects like NO LIBIDO, WEIGHT GAIN, SUICIDE, AND OTHER EFEECTS. Of course, as long as Paxil and Zoloft have no generics, MEDIA HYPE will be still muted, but give it time. Just as all the SSRI’s go generic, we will hear about ALL THE NEGATIVES and out will come the new batch of 8 TO 12 WEEK STUDIED ANTIDEPRESSANTS to start the new profit cycle. People with mental illness are just pawns, half ass useless meds are approved based on 8 week studies, NO REASON FOR A LONG TERM STUDY, we really don’t want to KNOW THE TRUTH, and as soon as the generics start rolling out, OUT COMES THE DIRTY LAUNDRY, not to HELP US, NO, ONLY SO THAT WE GO ON THE LATEST $5 PILL THAT HAS A 80% SUCCESS RATE AND EVEN LESS SIDE EFFECTS. Hell as long as everyone is making money, who cares about THE CRAZIES that take the product, we just need them alive and taking their meds. Now I forget, was I taking about the cigarette industry or drug companies, HELL WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE. This of course is just the opinion of a mentally ill patient with 15 years of experience popping pills, all of which have a 70% effective rate, but I guess I am the exception, "ALIVE" AND NOT SUICIDAL, AND NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. White Knight
Response:
White Knight wrote:
I am sick and tired about all these posts trying to scare people away from trying xanax. As someone who has suffered from bipolar disorder(type 2) for 15 years, tried all the antidepressants, now on a cocktail of meds, including xanax and paxil, my experience is that PAXIL has many more adverse effects versus the marginal benefit of some anxiety relief. I took Paxil for 5 months and was not taking any xanax, and I got some anticapation anxiety relief at the cost of NO
Which posts? Anyway do you get pre, during and post anxiety or just anticipation and during anxiety? Cause I get all three and am curious about your experience. I the amount I get of each one depends on the situation. Richard 
— Registered Lunatic #100347
Response:
I..Am..A..Paxil..Zom Bie..You..Need..To Chill..Out..Man.. Simon. "White Knight" <vegasrules…@yahoo.com
wrote in message
news:28eafa9a.0202022219.7ee7d068@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
I am sick and tired about all these posts trying to scare people away from trying xanax. As someone who has suffered from bipolar disorder(type 2) for 15 years, tried all the antidepressants, now on a cocktail of meds, including xanax and paxil, my experience is that PAXIL has many more adverse effects versus the marginal benefit of some anxiety relief. I took Paxil for 5 months and was not taking any xanax, and I got some anticapation anxiety relief at the cost of NO LIBIDO, sleeping 12 hours a day, having no motivation, just didn’t give a shit, already gained 10 pounds in 5 months with the carbo craving…..And people want to talk about xanax dependency and problems with withdrawl. I am not trying to minimize people’s experience or their pain, but with anxiety or other mental health issues, the word is YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY(YMMY). I am a college graduate in electrical engineering from a top 5 engineering college, and now have not worked for over two years mostly because of anxiety and some depression yearly. After working for 11 years struggling with depression and anxiety, I now have a hard time stepping outside my home. I have considered suicide 1000’s of times over the last 15 years, actually researched and made the plans and was about to end it, and then I started on the Paxil…….Yeah, my suicidal obsessions went away, but now I was content to veg out all day watching TY or on the Net, my desire to GET A JOB disappeared. Go research web sites and you will see how many people have problems with SSRI’s, yeah they are alive and taking that $3 pill two times a day or many $3 pills for me, but now I am NUMB and just there. Prior to Paxil I use to be a emotional person, felt the pain of others and would cry when touched by something, but now I am a Paxil-zombie, yeah some anxiety relief but a LOT OF ME is also gone. So all those xanax phobics, please allow people to fail with their options without scaring them. What are people’s choices when it comes to anxiety or panic, yes paxil, yes benzo’s, yes MAIO’s, yes CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy). My experience is PAXIL SUCKS and THE WITHDRAWAL IS HORRIBLE BASED ON MUCH FEEDBACK I HAVE READ ON THE NET, MAIO’S like parnate have some studies that back them up but the food restrictions are VERY DIFFICULT(no cheese, wine, beer, chocolate, many OTC meds, etc.), CBT might work for some but the feedback I have heard is that CBT plus meds work the best and I HAVE DONE THE THERAPY ROUTE and it was a waste of money. As one doctor told me, people who suffer from PANIC and think they are dieing have never been told that "your not going to die, it is all in your head"…Well that was my last session with him. Just to repeat, this is MY EXPERIENCE and YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. Now I could continue to HIBERNATE IN MY HOUSE, NOT WORK, RUN OUT OF MONEY AND THEN BE HOMELESS…..Or I can be proactive and continue to experiment and try to find some solution that will allow me to work and have a life. I have taken xanax in the past, just started it one month ago, still taking a low dose of paxil, and I am MUCH MUCH BETTER at dealing with day to day life, interacting with people, giving my shit done, etc. Yeah, maybe I will be taking xanax for the rest of my life but the only side effect I have had is some sleepiness. And to those who talk about TOLERANCE BUILDUP, that is a CROCK, yes you might have to increase your xanax from .25mg 3 times a day to .50mg 3 times a day, or even 1mg 3 times a day……..The fact is that people level out, there are people who have taken xanax for 5 to 15 years and most leveled out after 1 year at a dose and have no desire to increase. People need to do some research and FIND OUT THE REAL TRUTH, not what BIG PHARMA and BIG BUSINESS OWNED MEDIA OUTLETS want us to believe. Not to be cynical, but $3 no generic available paxil is much better for DRUG COMPANIES, then CHEAP GENERIC XANAX which might be more effective with less side-effects. Why are benzo’s so hard to get, cause drug lobbiest have access to CONGRESS and made sure that THE NO-PROFIT SOLUTIONS(IE LIKE BENZO’S) are not readily available. Let me make THE NEWCOMERS TO MENTAL ILLNESS aware that HYPE ABOUT THE LATEST ANTIDEPRESSANT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT WILL BE MADE ON THE DRUG, and the only time you will hear about THE NEGATIVES about that drug will be when it comes off-patent. Now that we have generic prozac, we will hear more about side effects like NO LIBIDO, WEIGHT GAIN, SUICIDE, AND OTHER EFEECTS. Of course, as long as Paxil and Zoloft have no generics, MEDIA HYPE will be still muted, but give it time. Just as all the SSRI’s go generic, we will hear about ALL THE NEGATIVES and out will come the new batch of 8 TO 12 WEEK STUDIED ANTIDEPRESSANTS to start the new profit cycle. People with mental illness are just pawns, half ass useless meds are approved based on 8 week studies, NO REASON FOR A LONG TERM STUDY, we really don’t want to KNOW THE TRUTH, and as soon as the generics start rolling out, OUT COMES THE DIRTY LAUNDRY, not to HELP US, NO, ONLY SO THAT WE GO ON THE LATEST $5 PILL THAT HAS A 80% SUCCESS RATE AND EVEN LESS SIDE EFFECTS. Hell as long as everyone is making money, who cares about THE CRAZIES that take the product, we just need them alive and taking their meds. Now I forget, was I taking about the cigarette industry or drug companies, HELL WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE. This of course is just the opinion of a mentally ill patient with 15 years of experience popping pills, all of which have a 70% effective rate, but I guess I am the exception, "ALIVE" AND NOT SUICIDAL, AND NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. White Knight
Response:
I am sick and tired about all these posts trying to scare people away from trying xanax. As someone who has suffered from bipolar disorder(type 2) for 15 years, tried all the antidepressants, now on a cocktail of meds, including xanax and paxil, my experience is that PAXIL has many more adverse effects versus the marginal benefit of some anxiety relief. I took Paxil for 5 months and was not taking any xanax, and I got some anticapation anxiety relief at the cost of NO LIBIDO, sleeping 12 hours a day, having no motivation, just didn’t give a shit, already gained 10 pounds in 5 months with the carbo craving…..And people want to talk about xanax dependency and problems with withdrawl. I am not trying to minimize people’s experience or their pain, but with anxiety or other mental health issues, the word is YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY(YMMY). I am a college graduate in electrical engineering from a top 5 engineering college, and now have not worked for over two years mostly because of anxiety and some depression yearly. After working for 11 years struggling with depression and anxiety, I now have a hard time stepping outside my home. I have considered suicide 1000’s of times over the last 15 years, actually researched and made the plans and was about to end it, and then I started on the Paxil…….Yeah, my suicidal obsessions went away, but now I was content to veg out all day watching TY or on the Net, my desire to GET A JOB disappeared. Go research web sites and you will see how many people have problems with SSRI’s, yeah they are alive and taking that $3 pill two times a day or many $3 pills for me, but now I am NUMB and just there. Prior to Paxil I use to be a emotional person, felt the pain of others and would cry when touched by something, but now I am a Paxil-zombie, yeah some anxiety relief but a LOT OF ME is also gone. So all those xanax phobics, please allow people to fail with their options without scaring them. What are people’s choices when it comes to anxiety or panic, yes paxil, yes benzo’s, yes MAIO’s, yes CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy). My experience is PAXIL SUCKS and THE WITHDRAWAL IS HORRIBLE BASED ON MUCH FEEDBACK I HAVE READ ON THE NET, MAIO’S like parnate have some studies that back them up but the food restrictions are VERY DIFFICULT(no cheese, wine, beer, chocolate, many OTC meds, etc.), CBT might work for some but the feedback I have heard is that CBT plus meds work the best and I HAVE DONE THE THERAPY ROUTE and it was a waste of money. As one doctor told me, people who suffer from PANIC and think they are dieing have never been told that "your not going to die, it is all in your head"…Well that was my last session with him. Just to repeat, this is MY EXPERIENCE and YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. Now I could continue to HIBERNATE IN MY HOUSE, NOT WORK, RUN OUT OF MONEY AND THEN BE HOMELESS…..Or I can be proactive and continue to experiment and try to find some solution that will allow me to work and have a life. I have taken xanax in the past, just started it one month ago, still taking a low dose of paxil, and I am MUCH MUCH BETTER at dealing with day to day life, interacting with people, giving my shit done, etc. Yeah, maybe I will be taking xanax for the rest of my life but the only side effect I have had is some sleepiness. And to those who talk about TOLERANCE BUILDUP, that is a CROCK, yes you might have to increase your xanax from .25mg 3 times a day to .50mg 3 times a day, or even 1mg 3 times a day……..The fact is that people level out, there are people who have taken xanax for 5 to 15 years and most leveled out after 1 year at a dose and have no desire to increase. People need to do some research and FIND OUT THE REAL TRUTH, not what BIG PHARMA and BIG BUSINESS OWNED MEDIA OUTLETS want us to believe. Not to be cynical, but $3 no generic available paxil is much better for DRUG COMPANIES, then CHEAP GENERIC XANAX which might be more effective with less side-effects. Why are benzo’s so hard to get, cause drug lobbiest have access to CONGRESS and made sure that THE NO-PROFIT SOLUTIONS(IE LIKE BENZO’S) are not readily available. Let me make THE NEWCOMERS TO MENTAL ILLNESS aware that HYPE ABOUT THE LATEST ANTIDEPRESSANT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT WILL BE MADE ON THE DRUG, and the only time you will hear about THE NEGATIVES about that drug will be when it comes off-patent. Now that we have generic prozac, we will hear more about side effects like NO LIBIDO, WEIGHT GAIN, SUICIDE, AND OTHER EFEECTS. Of course, as long as Paxil and Zoloft have no generics, MEDIA HYPE will be still muted, but give it time. Just as all the SSRI’s go generic, we will hear about ALL THE NEGATIVES and out will come the new batch of 8 TO 12 WEEK STUDIED ANTIDEPRESSANTS to start the new profit cycle. People with mental illness are just pawns, half ass useless meds are approved based on 8 week studies, NO REASON FOR A LONG TERM STUDY, we really don’t want to KNOW THE TRUTH, and as soon as the generics start rolling out, OUT COMES THE DIRTY LAUNDRY, not to HELP US, NO, ONLY SO THAT WE GO ON THE LATEST $5 PILL THAT HAS A 80% SUCCESS RATE AND EVEN LESS SIDE EFFECTS. Hell as long as everyone is making money, who cares about THE CRAZIES that take the product, we just need them alive and taking their meds. Now I forget, was I taking about the cigarette industry or drug companies, HELL WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE. This of course is just the opinion of a mentally ill patient with 15 years of experience popping pills, all of which have a 70% effective rate, but I guess I am the exception, "ALIVE" AND NOT SUICIDAL, AND NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. White Knight
Response:
Question:
By the manufacturer’s own admission, "discontinuation effects are well-known to occur with anti-depressants". Mr. Pittasso’s list is a very accurate one, and it’s very unfortunate that your 70 year old father did what he did, I am sure he suffered considerably. This will happen with all of the SSRI medications if stopped abruptly, particularly after higher doses and long periods of use. The syndrome WILL end, but not without some degree of torment to the patient. I hope that your Dad does not suffer any permanent injury from having fallen, as is so often the case with elderly people. Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – From http://www.adrugrecall.com/zoloft/effects.html "In addition to the Zoloft side effects that occur while taking the drug, patients who have decided to stop treatment have found that the Zoloft side effects resulting from withdrawal can be even worse. Although all SSRIs carry the risk of withdrawal, with Paxil’s among the worst, Zoloft side effects tend to rank as a close second. Patients who have stopped taking the drug have reported Zoloft side effects from withdrawal that include jolting electric "zaps", dizziness, extreme nausea and vomiting, high fever, abdominal discomfort, flu symptoms, agitation, anxiety, insomnia, aggression, nightmares, tremor, seizure, and confusion. The Zoloft side effects stemming from withdrawal can become so painful that some patients have committed suicide to end their misery. A more common result of Zoloft withdrawal is misinterpretation by the physician and/or patient, with a wrongful diagnosis of regression. " Can someone please tell me the side effects of a fit 70 year old man stopping Zoloft abruptly? Dad has been taking 100mg of Zoloft for at least 2 years, maybe longer. He stopped about 2-2 1/2 weeks ago. Didn’t taper, just stopped. Yesterday he was taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital for having fallen off a ladder. He’s been dizzy, he passed out and vomited. He’s been sick at his stomach. In the ER, he started shaking/tremors violently. Looked like he was convulsing. After two hours and 2 rounds of Atavan, he stopped. He thought he was dying 
All tests, including CTscan of the head, EKG, blood tests, blood oxygen, chest x-rays were normal. BP normal except during the convulsions. I know you shouldn’t stop this medication abruptly but I can’t find on the net WHAT to expect if you do. Thanks, Monica
Response:
Can someone please tell me the side effects of a fit 70 year old man stopping Zoloft abruptly? Dad has been taking 100mg of Zoloft for at least 2 years, maybe longer. He stopped about 2-2 1/2 weeks ago. Didn’t taper, just stopped. Yesterday he was taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital for having fallen off a ladder. He’s been dizzy, he passed out and vomited. He’s been sick at his stomach. In the ER, he started shaking/tremors violently. Looked like he was convulsing. After two hours and 2 rounds of Atavan, he stopped. He thought he was dying All tests, including CTscan of the head, EKG, blood tests, blood oxygen, chest x-rays were normal. BP normal except during the convulsions. I know you shouldn’t stop this medication abruptly but I can’t find on the net WHAT to expect if you do. Thanks, Monica
Response:
From http://www.adrugrecall.com/zoloft/effects.html "In addition to the Zoloft side effects that occur while taking the drug, patients who have decided to stop treatment have found that the Zoloft side effects resulting from withdrawal can be even worse. Although all SSRIs carry the risk of withdrawal, with Paxil’s among the worst, Zoloft side effects tend to rank as a close second. Patients who have stopped taking the drug have reported Zoloft side effects from withdrawal that include jolting electric "zaps", dizziness, extreme nausea and vomiting, high fever, abdominal discomfort, flu symptoms, agitation, anxiety, insomnia, aggression, nightmares, tremor, seizure, and confusion. The Zoloft side effects stemming from withdrawal can become so painful that some patients have committed suicide to end their misery. A more common result of Zoloft withdrawal is misinterpretation by the physician and/or patient, with a wrongful diagnosis of regression. "
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Can someone please tell me the side effects of a fit 70 year old man stopping Zoloft abruptly? Dad has been taking 100mg of Zoloft for at least 2 years, maybe longer. He stopped about 2-2 1/2 weeks ago. Didn’t taper, just stopped. Yesterday he was taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital for having fallen off a ladder. He’s been dizzy, he passed out and vomited. He’s been sick at his stomach. In the ER, he started shaking/tremors violently. Looked like he was convulsing. After two hours and 2 rounds of Atavan, he stopped. He thought he was dying All tests, including CTscan of the head, EKG, blood tests, blood oxygen, chest x-rays were normal. BP normal except during the convulsions. I know you shouldn’t stop this medication abruptly but I can’t find on the net WHAT to expect if you do. Thanks, Monica
Response:
Can someone please tell me the side effects of a fit 70 year old man stopping Zoloft abruptly? Dad has been taking 100mg of Zoloft for at least 2 years, maybe longer. He stopped about 2-2 1/2 weeks ago. Didn’t taper, just stopped. Yesterday he was taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital for having fallen off a ladder. He’s been dizzy, he passed out and vomited. He’s been sick at his stomach. In the ER, he started shaking/tremors violently. Looked like he was convulsing. After two hours and 2 rounds of Atavan, he stopped. He thought he was dying All tests, including CTscan of the head, EKG, blood tests, blood oxygen, chest x-rays were normal. BP normal except during the convulsions. I know you shouldn’t stop this medication abruptly but I can’t find on the net WHAT to expect if you do.
Abrupt cessation of SSRI’s will cause the kind of symptoms your father experienced. A planned taper off these medications should always be undertaken!! See: http://www.namiscc.org/News/2002/Summer/PaxilWithdrawal.htm
Response:
Thank you both for the information you posted!! This describes dad’s symptoms exactly. Monica
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Can someone please tell me the side effects of a fit 70 year old man stopping Zoloft abruptly? Dad has been taking 100mg of Zoloft for at least
Response:
Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey? I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
A. Reports have found people who tapered down to that level and still have horrific withdrawal symptoms can avert the withdrawal symptoms by switching to an SSRI with a longer half life, then withdrawing from that. B. Reports indicate people may avert experiencing withdrawals symptoms upon titration from Effexor by use of Ondansetron, a drug commonly prescribed for the relief of the side effects (nausea etc.) associated with chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment. See http://www.effexorfx.freeuk.com/webdoc8.htm
Response:
When I went off effexor (I had the nasty withdrawl stuff too)…I opened the capsules and dumped some of the granules out and then closed it back up and swallowed it. It was hardly scientific, but it worked pretty well. So Just start trying to dump out around half the granules…then down to maybe 1/4…then maybe try to just stop. Hope that helps. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better??
Response:
That was exactly my experience. Actually, I got down from 300mg to 37.5mg fast (in two weeks), but it was very hard to quit from there. My doctor added 30mg remeron, and I think that was the trick that helped me get down to 37.5 fast. Adding Remeron now, and then tapering it off too when you got rid of effexor completely might be good idea for you too. I used to get terrible vertigo, and a feeling of not being here when I tried to quit from 37.5 (even though I was still taking remeron) From there, adding some small dose (2 – 4 mg/day) reboxetine helped me. I felt some vertigo from time to time for the next two months, but they all went away in the end. Don’t worry, you will get rid of it in the end, but ask your doctor to augment it with remeron or some other AD. That would help. cem
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey? I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey? I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
Reducing Withdrawal Symptoms —- The following information has been drawn from the medical reports which have been published to date on the withdrawal symptoms associated with dose reduction or discontinuation of venlafaxine and from the feedback which I have received from venlafaxine patients. It is by no means intended to be a recommendation of a particular course of action but is simply given to provide a starting point for discussion between patients and their medical advisors with regard to the options available to reduce the severity of the withdrawal symptoms that are common even on a gradual tapered discontinuance of the drug. It appears plausible that both methods could be used simultaneously. —- 1. The rapid onset and the severity of the withdrawal symptoms on dose reduction or discontinuation of venlafaxine appear to stem from the relatively short half-life of the drug (5 hours). Medical data on the subject (Parker, for example) suggests that the withdrawal symptoms can therefore be reduced by gradually replacing venlafaxine with a longer half-life SSRI antidepressant and to then proceed to discontinue the SSRI. It should be noted that although this method has been reported to have been undertaken successfully, it contradicts the advice given by Wyerth-Ayerst, the manufacturer of venlafaxine, that a "wash-out" period be allowed before starting an SSRI.. However, it should also be noted that Wyerth-Ayerst has only recently acknowledged the potent severity of the withdrawal syndrome on venlafaxine discontinuation or dose reduction (see Medwatch – venlafaxine drug labelling changes) 2. The medical report published by Raby (full text available) reports on the relief of venlafaxine withdrawal symptoms by the use of ondansetron, a drug commonly prescribed for the relief of the side effects (nausea etc.) associated with chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment. The report also discusses the cause of these withdrawal symptoms and provides an explanation of why their severity appears to be unique to venlafaxine. In the case reported a patient who had been receiving 150 mg daily venlafaxine experienced disabilitating nausea, headaches, diarrhea and anxiety once the dose was reduced below 75 mg daily. Only after ondansetron was given, was the patient able to proceed with the tapering schedule of venlafaxine over several weeks. The only adverse side effect of ondansetron was constipation which was treated with laxatives. There was no reoccurrence of venlafaxine withdrawal symptoms after ondansetron was itself discontinued.
Response:
It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better??
Response:
It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better??
Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey?
Response:
It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey?
I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey? I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
I’m sorry. I hope my first comment wasn’t taken wrong…..it is nevertheless the obvious thing to do. Can you take half again of this lesser dose? Sometimes, taking a small dose of a different antidepressant can help.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is only the first day of not taking Effexor and I feel like I’m going to die. My head is pounding, I feel like I’m going to vomit, my eyes hurt, etc…. What can I do to feel better?? Take some Effexor. Are you tapering, or stopping cold turkey? I have been tapering for the last four months. I went from taking 150 mg a day to 37.5 a day. My doctor told me stop when I got down to 37.5.
W.J. Giakas, J.M. Davis, Intractable withdrawal from venlafaxine treated with fluoxetine, Psychiatric Annals, February 1997, 27 (2), 85-86 and 92. Authors report three consecutive cases (26-35 year old women) where patients experienced severe withdrawal after discontinuing venlaxfaxine, following treatment ranging from a week or two to seven months: "Repeated attempts at gradually tapering the dosage were unsuccessful and led to intolerable withdrawal sensations." In these and other cases, authors noted appearance of withdrawal symptoms within a few hours of patient missing a dose. Although, symptoms they saw "are not identical to a fully-fledged psychedelic experience or a true migraine headache, similarity is evident…" In all cases, venlafaxine was eventually discontinued under cover of fluoxetine, which itself was later withdrawn uneventfully in one of the three cases.
Response:
Question:
On Mon, 22 Jan 2001 17:43:59 GMT, blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote:
Karen, you hit on what I think hurts me the most about this…his total and complete insensitivity to how I feel about it, and his apparent lack of respect for me. He compromises. It’s his way or no way. I have NOTHING to be upset about, and this, in his opinion, is my problem that I simply need to "get over". He is "doing nothing wrong", and there is no reason that he should stop (his words). I don’t believe he understands the word respect. KB
Like I said in a previous post, start looking at porn yourself and when he gets upset about it just say he is going to have to get over it. It will show him how you feel when he says it to you. The end result will hopefully be he gets the hint.
Response:
Evolution has designed man to impregnate as many females as he can so as to place more of his genes into the pool. Marriage, and monogamy places restrictions on that plan. Looking at porn (love of female and female anatomy) is a way of spreading his genes…by proxy if you will. By the same token, evolutions plan is that females want to "capture" a male, have his genes inseminate her, and then keep him around to help care for the offspring. She does not want him spreading any more of his genes. What you are feeling are very deep, evolutionary placed emotions to try to prevent him from moving on. He is paying homage to his instincts just as you are. And he is doing it in the most acceptable way at this time and place in our society. If he is not spending the babies diaper money on the porn, then leave him alone. If you really want to make him think of you as the most desireable woman in the world, then become his feat accompli and learn to enjoy the porn yourself and include yourself in his viewing. Not too many women do that, but he ones that do become almost irreplaceable in a man’s life. rg <blueskies…@my-deja.com
wrote in message
news:94g65t$i4g$1@nnrp1.deja.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
It upsets me because I do NOT understand the need for it. As I told him one night, as I caught him with junior in hand, looking at it, WHY does he prefer to jerk off looking at pornography, when he has a perfectly good wife in bed. (he thought I was asleep. I was, but came out for a drink of water). He does not view it in front of me. No, he isn’t spending the baby money (I have an 8yr old son!), but since he is unemployed, guess who IS paying for this!?!?!? KB In article <14939-3A6C8EA6…@storefull-103.iap.bryant.webtv.net
,
KTGO…@webtv.net (Karen) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
blueskies wrote, begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He
says
that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Does it upset you because he is looking at other woman? Does he make comments about them? Does he try to include you when he is checking
out
this stuff? I am just trying to understand the full picture. My
husband
also views this type of stuff, but it is not the woman or the sex
itself
that he likes. It is his never ending curiosity to find the unusual. something he has never seen before. Some may think that is
disgusting, I
think it is simply human nature. I feel as long as it is not children he is looking at (which he is firmly against). Then I see no problem with it. (except for maybe the "hey babe, check this out, gross!".
every
5 seconds). It is not my cup of tea, but I don’t hold it against him. Ps. I can’t believe you are paying for it though! good grief it is
every
where and free. Karen
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
On Mon, 22 Jan 2001 21:49:48 GMT, blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote:
but since he is unemployed, guess who IS paying for this!?!?!?
For you is the issue the porn or the fact he is unemployed? Put another way, if he was working, would this matter as long as you also had a good sex life? Is the porn a new development? Floridanewbie — Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye opener.
Response:
Do you want me to? rg "Jadelee111512" <jadelee111…@aol.com
wrote in message
news:20010122165116.04553.00000626@ng-cc1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
From: "rg" jobba…@hotmail.com Evolution has designed man to impregnate as many females as he can so as
to
place more of his genes into the pool. Marriage, and monogamy places restrictions on that plan. Looking at porn (love of female and female anatomy) is a way of spreading his genes…by proxy if you will. By the same token, evolutions plan is that females want to "capture" a
male,
have his genes inseminate her, and then keep him around to help care for
the
offspring. She does not want him spreading any more of his genes. What you are feeling are very deep, evolutionary placed emotions to try
to
prevent him from moving on. He is paying homage to his instincts just as you are. And he is doing it
in
the most acceptable way at this time and place in our society. If he is not spending the babies diaper money on the porn, then leave him alone. If you really want to make him think of you as the most desireable woman
in
the world, then become his feat accompli and learn to enjoy the porn yourself and include yourself in his viewing. Not too many women do that, but he ones that do become almost
irreplaceable
in a man’s life. rg Couldn’t stay away, eh?
Response:
,,control freak,,shakes head,,, Doc Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
If he is unemployed, then he should NOT be spending money on this. This is a totally unnecessary expense. He should be looking for a job, or training for one. rg <blueskies…@my-deja.com
wrote in message
news:94i9to$b1f$1@nnrp1.deja.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
It upsets me because I do NOT understand the need for it. As I told him one night, as I caught him with junior in hand, looking at it, WHY does he prefer to jerk off looking at pornography, when he has a perfectly good wife in bed. (he thought I was asleep. I was, but came out for a drink of water). He does not view it in front of me. No, he isn’t spending the baby money (I have an 8yr old son!), but since he is unemployed, guess who IS paying for this!?!?!? KB In article <14939-3A6C8EA6…@storefull-103.iap.bryant.webtv.net, KTGO…@webtv.net (Karen) wrote: blueskies wrote, begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Does it upset you because he is looking at other woman? Does he make comments about them? Does he try to include you when he is checking out this stuff? I am just trying to understand the full picture. My husband also views this type of stuff, but it is not the woman or the sex itself that he likes. It is his never ending curiosity to find the unusual. something he has never seen before. Some may think that is disgusting, I think it is simply human nature. I feel as long as it is not children he is looking at (which he is firmly against). Then I see no problem with it. (except for maybe the "hey babe, check this out, gross!". every 5 seconds). It is not my cup of tea, but I don’t hold it against him. Ps. I can’t believe you are paying for it though! good grief it is every where and free. Karen Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
With the savings, you may be able to get some counseling to find out why you are so upset over the thought of your husband satisfying his biological need for diversity in such a harmless way. You obvioulsy have some very serious control issues, and if I were him, seeking a divorce would be very near the top of my list, unless you were to experience a very sudden and dramatic attitude change. I hope this helps!!!
I agree about the control. Things outside of ourselves do not "make" us feel one way or another. We make ourselves feel the way we do…as a conditioned or congicent response. Buddism has much to say about that. But I don’t think divorce is the answer. There is lots of room for resolution of this problem…and it may require a compromise in which he spends a little less time viewing…and you spend a little more time viewing. rg
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
From: "rg" jobba…@hotmail.com Evolution has designed man to impregnate as many females as he can so as to place more of his genes into the pool. Marriage, and monogamy places restrictions on that plan. Looking at porn (love of female and female anatomy) is a way of spreading his genes…by proxy if you will. By the same token, evolutions plan is that females want to "capture" a male, have his genes inseminate her, and then keep him around to help care for the offspring. She does not want him spreading any more of his genes. What you are feeling are very deep, evolutionary placed emotions to try to prevent him from moving on. He is paying homage to his instincts just as you are. And he is doing it in the most acceptable way at this time and place in our society. If he is not spending the babies diaper money on the porn, then leave him alone. If you really want to make him think of you as the most desireable woman in the world, then become his feat accompli and learn to enjoy the porn yourself and include yourself in his viewing. Not too many women do that, but he ones that do become almost irreplaceable in a man’s life. rg
Couldn’t stay away, eh?
Response:
blueskies wrote, begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Does it upset you because he is looking at other woman? Does he make comments about them? Does he try to include you when he is checking out this stuff? I am just trying to understand the full picture. My husband also views this type of stuff, but it is not the woman or the sex itself that he likes. It is his never ending curiosity to find the unusual. something he has never seen before. Some may think that is disgusting, I think it is simply human nature. I feel as long as it is not children he is looking at (which he is firmly against). Then I see no problem with it. (except for maybe the "hey babe, check this out, gross!". every 5 seconds). It is not my cup of tea, but I don’t hold it against him. Ps. I can’t believe you are paying for it though! good grief it is every where and free. Karen
Response:
You are *not* being unreasonable. I would wonder why, when something is this important to you, your husband has to turn into "dork mode" and make a case out of it being "your problem". Hopefully he can be brought around to seeing what a selfish action this is, and how counter-productive to an intimate relationship this is. Best of luck, LS
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -JohnyK wrote:
On Mon, 22 Jan 2001 02:33:33 GMT, blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote: I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Go to sites that have men pictured on them and see if he likes it when you do this. This is not a joke…..I’m dead serious
I agree with JohnnyK on this, go to a porn site just for Women and see if he likes it.
Response:
Karen, Can you explain the ‘comfort and security’ males get from this? I have the same problem at home also, and it causes me many days of grief wondering what’s wrong with me/him. I’m trying to understand exactly what it is that they get from viewing all this porn. Mine does it when I’m not home, boy does that really want to make me leave the house!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
BTW, watching porn has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It’s a way for him to get comfort, much like a baby bottle or security blanket. Karen
Response:
Karen, you hit on what I think hurts me the most about this…his total and complete insensitivity to how I feel about it, and his apparent lack of respect for me. He compromises. It’s his way or no way. I have NOTHING to be upset about, and this, in his opinion, is my problem that I simply need to "get over". He is "doing nothing wrong", and there is no reason that he should stop (his words). I don’t believe he understands the word respect. KB In article <94hprh$6k…@carroll.library.ucla.edu
,
ro…@hhmi.ucla.edu (Karen Ronan) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
The problem isn’t really porn. It’s your husband’s insensitivity and deaf ears to your hurt feelings. Many men watch porn and also put some limits/boundaries on it out of ***respect*** for their wives’ feelings. Your husband is totally unwilling to respect your feelings and make some compromises, and that is a problem in a marriage. BTW, watching porn has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It’s a way for him to get comfort, much like a baby bottle or security blanket. Karen blueskies…@my-deja.com writes: I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on
the
internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of
$10/month.
I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain
that
when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well,
let’s
say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive,
unwanted,
and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde,
5′4",
105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and
it’s my
problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it
that
often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks…..
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
The problem isn’t really porn. It’s your husband’s insensitivity and deaf ears to your hurt feelings. Many men watch porn and also put some limits/boundaries on it out of ***respect*** for their wives’ feelings. Your husband is totally unwilling to respect your feelings and make some compromises, and that is a problem in a marriage. BTW, watching porn has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It’s a way for him to get comfort, much like a baby bottle or security blanket. Karen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -blueskies…@my-deja.com writes:
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks…..
Response:
thank you for the food for thought. You hit quite a few nails on the head. Now, I just have to figure out how 2 bullheaded people to work through the underlying issues…… or not. Thank you for your helpful insights, except of course for the one that said HE should divorce me over it… KB peel an onion and there are many layers…. In article <94hj3g$u…@bob.news.rcn.net
,
"urf" <urf…@nospam.com
wrote:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
In an odd way you are BOTH being effected by porn in the SAME way. You are both having an EMOTIONAL reaction. This is about what you are FEELING and what he is FEELING. There is no part of this that is logical or even well thought out. When faced with problems involing FEELINGS I always find it is best to go DEEP into the feeling. Look for the why of your feelings. Often the why is unrelated to the incident that provokes the feeling. I would say the same thing to your husband but since your the only one here I’ll focus on you. Here are some POSSIBILITIES that you might consider. Things that can cause negative emotional responses. Anger issues. Misplaced anger. Has there been a patten of behavior
that has
you feeling bad about your relationship in general? Are you taking it
out on
him? Insecurity issues. Does he give you reasons to doubt his commitment
to you.
No compliments. No positive reenforcement for your efforts. No affection
shown
towards you. Control issues. Perhaps your reaction is negative because you can not control him. You want him to bend to your will but he won’t. Not just in this
but
other areas as well. This is just a focal point of that feeling. Fear. You might be afraid that you are losing him. This might be
another
example of how he is moving away from you. Notice these are mostly negative emotional states. If they were
positive you
would not be having any problem. If you felt adored you would not care if he
admired a
picture on a piece of glass. If you felt loved you would not feel afraid that
he
might desire to go elsewhere. Just food for thought <blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote in message news:94g65t$i4g$1@nnrp1.deja.com… I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on
the
internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of
$10/month.
I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain
that
when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well,
let’s
say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive,
unwanted,
and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde,
5′4",
105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and
it’s my
problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it
that
often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
From: "urf" urf…@nospam.com In an odd way you are BOTH being effected by porn in the SAME way. You are both having an EMOTIONAL reaction.
Actually it is possible that she is having an emotional reaction and he is having a physical reaction. One of the things that porn allows is to numb out and NOT feel emotions…which is why some men choose it. It enables them to stay in a state of numbness and not have to experience emotions.
This is about what you are FEELING and what he is FEELING.
Not necessarily. She is reacting to his behavior…they may not necessarily be as closely related to feeling as they are to simply responding.
When faced with problems involing FEELINGS I always find it is best to go DEEP into the feeling. Look for the why of your feelings. Often the why is unrelated to the incident that provokes the feeling.
It is a good idea for each of them to figure out why they are feeling or responding or reacting in the ways that they are. It is my guess that he is too much into the *doing* and she is into the *responding* that going into the feeling just may not be possible (right now). Anger, insecurity, control and fear are certainly issues that might exist for this poster. Since she is in a marriage, it makes sense for the two of them to be working together on what emotions exist (or are missing)…and for the two of them to look inward. Not just her….porn issues in a marriage are a two way street.
Response:
In article <94g65t$i4…@nnrp1.deja.com
,
blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote:
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal.
$20 a month on online porn is very wasteful. I would recommend that he visit http://www.hardcorejunky.net/links2.html, which has a great deal of categorized FREE links (the Latina page, http://www.hardcorejunky.net/latinas.html, is my personal favorite!!!). With the savings, you may be able to get some counseling to find out why you are so upset over the thought of your husband satisfying his biological need for diversity in such a harmless way. You obvioulsy have some very serious control issues, and if I were him, seeking a divorce would be very near the top of my list, unless you were to experience a very sudden and dramatic attitude change. I hope this helps!!! Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
subversionma…@my-deja.com wrote:
$20 a month on online porn is very wasteful. I would recommend that he visit http://www.hardcorejunky.net/links2.html, which has a great deal of categorized FREE links (the Latina page, http://www.hardcorejunky.net/latinas.html, is my personal favorite!!!). With the savings, you may be able to get some counseling to find out why you are so upset over the thought of your husband satisfying his biological need for diversity in such a harmless way. You obvioulsy have some very serious control issues,
No, that’s not obvious at all. That conclusion is premature. Indeed, it might have nothing at all to do with her and everything to do with him. **********
and if I were him, seeking a divorce would be very near the top of my list, unless you were to experience a very sudden and dramatic attitude change.
Reverse the roles for a moment Sub. For example, if it’s your wife who was getting off on porn on a regular basis by herself, how would you feel about that situation? CJ
Response:
Yes, I think you are overreacting. I recommend Nadine Strossen’s book "Defending Pornography." Also, try watching a porn movie on your own. You might like it. — Walt In article <94g65t$i4…@nnrp1.deja.com
,
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote:
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on
the
internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s
my
problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
In an odd way you are BOTH being effected by porn in the SAME way. You are both having an EMOTIONAL reaction. This is about what you are FEELING and what he is FEELING. There is no part of this that is logical or even well thought out. When faced with problems involing FEELINGS I always find it is best to go DEEP into the feeling. Look for the why of your feelings. Often the why is unrelated to the incident that provokes the feeling. I would say the same thing to your husband but since your the only one here I’ll focus on you. Here are some POSSIBILITIES that you might consider. Things that can cause negative emotional responses. Anger issues. Misplaced anger. Has there been a patten of behavior that has you feeling bad about your relationship in general? Are you taking it out on him? Insecurity issues. Does he give you reasons to doubt his commitment to you. No compliments. No positive reenforcement for your efforts. No affection shown towards you. Control issues. Perhaps your reaction is negative because you can not control him. You want him to bend to your will but he won’t. Not just in this but other areas as well. This is just a focal point of that feeling. Fear. You might be afraid that you are losing him. This might be another example of how he is moving away from you. Notice these are mostly negative emotional states. If they were positive you would not be having any problem. If you felt adored you would not care if he admired a picture on a piece of glass. If you felt loved you would not feel afraid that he might desire to go elsewhere. Just food for thought <blueskies…@my-deja.com
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I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
In article <20010122034152.11992.00000…@ng-fl1.aol.com
,
cjmorga…@aol.com (CJMorgan59) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
subversionma…@my-deja.com wrote: $20 a month on online porn is very wasteful. I would recommend that
he
visit http://www.hardcorejunky.net/links2.html, which has a great
deal
of categorized FREE links (the Latina page, http://www.hardcorejunky.net/latinas.html, is my personal
favorite!!!).
With the savings, you may be able to get some counseling to find out why you are so upset over the thought of your husband satisfying his biological need for diversity in such a harmless way. You obvioulsy have some very serious control issues, No, that’s not obvious at all. That conclusion is premature. Indeed,
it might
have nothing at all to do with her and everything to do with him. ********** and if I were him, seeking a divorce would be very near the top of my list, unless you were to experience a very sudden and dramatic attitude change. Reverse the roles for a moment Sub. For example, if it’s your wife who
was
getting off on porn on a regular basis by herself, how would you feel
about
that situation? CJ
As long as I was getting all the attention I needed too, it wouldn’t bother me a bit. I have no need to control her mind. Since she says they have a great sex life, the problem is obviously her control issues. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks….. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Response:
From: blueskies…@my-deja.com I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before).
This topic has been discussed before. Many a time. And if it weren’t you, it would be someone else to bring it up again…and again and again. So, no need to apologize )
My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal.
There are men that can look at porn and it’s no big deal…sometimes it turns them on and they end up making love to their wives and all is well that ends well. Then there are men that look at porn and all kinds of problems occur…anywhere from not being able to get it up to getting it up and not being able to climax with their spouse. And many other problems in between. Just like, some people can have a glass or two of wine andthere is no problem and for others, having a glass of wine turns into a problem.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable.
Some of it may be your stuff (insecurity or low self esteem) and some of it may be his stuff (more than just plain old guy stuff). Have you tried talking to him about this…when he is not doing what you don’t like?
Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense.
So it’s safe to assume that you’re thinking, "if our sex life is frequent and satisfying and intense, then why the hell does he need that crap?" While it doesn’t make sense to you…it may make sense to him. Have you ever asked him what it is about the porno that keeps him interested?
I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears
Many people will continue to do what they do despite protestations…men or women. The bottom line is that he is aware that it is bothering you. It is important that you both reach some kind of understanding about what porno means to each of you. Until then, you won’t be able to find some common ground.
I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem…
I feel confident in saying that each of you has a problem with it…it not simply a matter of it being only one you with a problem. I am not saying that both of you are messed up..but what I am saying is that somewhere, at some time, some wiring went in a particular direction and you both have to find a way to re-wire yourselves in order to connect. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that
often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks…..
I think that you both need some intervention. A person who can help both of you understand where each of you are. Without knowing both of you, I can’t realistically say that either of you are wrong. What I feel confident in saying is that you both could use an unbiased party to help you both understand each other better. Both of you can bet your needs met if you can better listen to each other. Chances are, you are going to get some strong opinions about porn in here. I strongly advice you to take what you need and leave the rest. DO NOT take what posters say personally. Everyone has their idea of pornography and not everyone has a full understanding of the possiblity of porn not necessarily being healthy in all relationships. Hang in there!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -On Mon, 22 Jan 2001 02:33:33 GMT, blueskies…@my-deja.com wrote:
I just found this group, and I have a question (forgive me if this topic has been discussed before). My husband enjoys viewing porn on the internet. He has even subscribed to 2 websites at a cost of $10/month. I have told him that it bothers me to no end, but his response is that "all men do it" and it’s no big deal. I’ve tried to explain that when he is looking at other women on line, and sometimes, well, let’s say, pleasuring himself, that it makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, and undesirable. I am NOT any of those things. (age 36, blonde, 5′4", 105 pounds, and I can still turn a head or two). I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or being unreasonable. I cannot help the way I feel though, and frankly, the idea of it is a major turn-off for me. Yes, our sex life is very good, quite frequent, satisfying and intense. I have gotten extremely upset over this, to the point of tears, and it falls on deaf ears. I’ve tried begging, pleading, threatening… you name it, to make him stop. He says that I don’t understand, and it’s my problem… I’m being a prude. He will not stop. He doesn’t do it that often (that I’m aware of), but it sickens me to think about it. Am I being unreasonable? Any advice? Thanks…..
Go to sites that have men pictured on them and see if he likes it when you do this. This is not a joke…..I’m dead serious
Response:
